#okay Im quite emotional now I think I will explode

[jovieinramshackle]

Oh my god 2025 ummm what the fuck amirite (it's not even for me yet it's over 10pm)

Okay so um hi hey hello. What a year huh (at least for me). So wild I transed my whole gender like damn the she/her to he/him pipeline was so real but ANYWAYS

I already said quite a bit during Christmas here but I would be lying if I said I didn't have a million more things to say. Even more to some certain mutuals/friends that have really been nothing but kind to me. Some old ones, some recent ones, I can't list everyone but I genuinely just appreciate any amount of support and love, big or small.

I've been thinking about whether I should directly say a few things to some mutuals/friends for a while (and I already have to some, but I don't mind repeating myself lol), but I think New Year's is the perfect chance to do so.

Apologies for the tagging in advance SUDISAHFIUHISDE

-

@crystallizsch I have already expressed to you how much I appreciate and grateful I am to you for encouraging me to make this blog, way before we had ever even interacted. I love you a lot buddy, you're absolutely the best<3

@oya-oya-okay OYAAA OYA OYAAA!!! I love you sm my darling friend, your kind words and support have genuinely been some of the biggest reasons I pushed through this year. I know the latter part of this year has been really hard for you, but I want you to know you have my support for whatever you need <3

@viperbunnies YOU HAVE MADE ME SOBBED SM ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GIFTS. I sometimes go back to see your art of my persona or my oc just to make myself feel a little better. Ty for making me feel part of this amazing community (PS. I still get shroompocalypse war flashbacks/j) <3

@fell-e We have mostly chatted on Discord recently and legit you're one of the funniest and nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to! I can't wait to interact more in 2025, you're such a nice person to be around <3

@lficanthaveloveiwantpower Hi Nah! We don't interact really one-on-one, but the kind words you've given me have always made me smile. You're one of the biggest reasons I got comfortable with openly self-shipping and sharing my thoughts about my f/os. And don't even let me mention how much joy your art has given me, you're seriously one of the best artists I've had the pleasure of being mutuals with <3

@theolivetree123 I'm a sucker for your ocs I won't even lie they're always so creative and fun! Still remember the time you asked to be mutuals and I just DIE/pos. It really was a pleasant surprise and I look forward to every post you make, whether it's art or just talking about your ocs and dynamics! You're extremely creative you genuinely inspire me a lot <3

@sunnysidesevenup I KNNNNOOOOWWWW we became moots pretty recently but like. You're so cool dude wtf. Legit freaked out when YOU followed ME first. I got cold feet about following you back for a while ahaha.....but I'm so happy I did you're such a fun dude I love your creations so much too (low-key biased towards Tilly...I love him sm and for what...)

@jadelover69 MIMI YOU ARE SO FUN, JUST SOO FUN TO INTERACT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENERGY IS SOOO SDUBHDSJNAGISBSJDH/POS your reblogs always make me giggle, even if it's just you straight up dying <3 Tysm for showing so much love for my creations, it means the absolute world

@summerspook You madman. I can't believe we've been friends for almost 2 years online. You have helped me through so much stuff, sometimes I even felt guilty about it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of my bestest friends, talking to you is one of the main things I look forward to every day, I can't express how much appreciate you and our friendship <3

-

OKAY THIS IS ALL FOR NOW there are more of you but I can't articulate my thoughts and feelings the best, but either way I love and appreciate all of you with all my heart.

New Year's has slowly lost its meaning for me (I'm neutral about it) but at least I get to use it to show my application to the people who have been with me this year, mutual or not tbh <3

Also if you wanna say something back but not publically, dms are open for mutuals <3

[astraystayyh]

You and I

In which you wrongly lash out at Hyunjin and have to mend it back. Human character who makes mistakes and apologizes for them.

You've always envied the people who seek others' warmth when they are feeling down. They seem to become almost translucent, allowing their sadness to seep away from them as their loved one comforts them- as their words and touch wrap around them, leaving no room for sadness or anger to exist anymore.

You, however, are quite the opposite.

Whenever an emotion overwhelms you, you instantly withdraw yourself, refusing for anyone to approach you. You can't let anyone touch you or talk to you, not when the feel of your clothes against your skin irritates you, and you swear you can hear the sound of each blood droplet rushing through your veins, unbearably loud.

Hyunjin doesn't know this.

How could he know? How do you tell someone you've been dating for one month that something as simple as regulating your emotions drains you? That you need to hide, for a couple of hours, sometimes days, just to feel a semblance of normalcy again.

So, you kept it hidden, trying your best to still your feelings; akin to the surface of an undisturbed river. It was easy to do so when being with Hyunjin brought you immense joy. It almost lulled you into thinking that you'd stay this way forever- happy, content. But you are human, and you can't escape the very essence of it- emotions in their rawest form.

You wish you could have told him- that you'd prefer being alone and that you'd talk to him when you're feeling well again. But it isn't time for regrets now. Not when the thoughts in your head swirl chaotically, making the world around you blur. You're overwhelmed, by your studies and a voice in your head that never truly quits down. And you can feel Hyunjin looking at you from the corner of your eye.

He's been worried about you all night, asking you if you were okay and if there was something he could do to help. But every question seemed to drive you over the edge, pushing you closer and closer to the brink of exploding.

"Baby, are you sure there is nothing I can do?" he asks for the umpteenth time, placing a hand on your shoulder. His concern is evident, stemming from a genuine place of care. And you want to slap a hand on your mouth to stop the words from tumbling out, but you don't.

"You know what I need Hyunjin? For you to leave me alone. Is that so hard to understand for you?" you question, looking straight ahead. You sense him physically recoil at your words, hand swiftly retracting back near his side. "I already told you what to do, and you're just making it worse. I can't deal with this right now."

A low chuckle emanates from him, it sounds cold and distant- nothing like you've ever heard from Hyunjin.

"Deal with this? You mean, deal with me?" he stands up abruptly, hand running angrily through his hair. "You know what? You've made it abundantly clear what you needed from me. I'm just fucking stupid for being worried." He grabs his jacket, as his words pierce you like a bow shot by Achilles himself.

Really now? You brought this on yourself and now you're feeling sad? Did you expect him to apologize, beg for you? The voice in your head taunts you and your own gets caught in your throat. 'Im sorry, stay, I didn't mean to lash out' You want to plead, but you remain silent as if someone's robbed you of your ability to speak.

"I'm sorry for making it worse for you, you don't have to worry about it ever again," he sounds angry, but you can sense the underlying sadness in his words. Your eyes meet his and the look on his face tears you apart. You've never seen him so... stricken, so severely affected; by your own doing none the less.

Hyunjin slams the door behind him, as an ugly sob escapes your lips. You've hurt him, badly, you aren't sure how to fix it when you can't even fix yourself.

....

Two days have passed. Forty-eight hours of trying to sort out your thoughts, only to have them tangled even further. The reason why you were overwhelmed in the first place fades into the back of your mind. The only thing you could think of was Hyunjin.

He hadn't called or texted, not that you expected him to. He said you didn't have to worry about it anymore, so he's giving you space, lots of space at that. Isn't that what you wanted? It was, but not like this. Not at the expense of hurting him.

You look absolutely disheveled as you knock on Hyunjin's door. It's 5:47 pm, an odd time for reconciliation, at least that's what you hope will happen as Hyunjin opens the door.

He's seemingly taken aback at the sight of you. His eyes swiftly narrow, and you take an unconscious step back at the animosity in his gaze. "What do you want?"

"Can we talk, please?"

Hyunjin scrutinizes you for a moment, his expression guarded. He looks far better than you, but there are newfound dark circles under his eyes. You hope you aren't the cause behind him.

"Come in," he steps away and you enter, uncertainty hanging over the both of you like a heavy fog.

Hyunjin settles on the couch but you remain standing, pacing back and forth as you try to organize your thoughts. Everything you wanted to say seemingly vanished you when you needed it most.

"Sit down. You're making me dizzy," he finally says, rubbing his eyes tiredly. You oblige quickly, heels now tapping furiously on the ground.

"Would you like some water?" he asks after a while, and there is a timid softness in his words, one you clung to so you'd be able to breathe again.

"No, thank you." You lick your lips nervously. "Hyunjin, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you that way. I was mean and rude and I understand that I had hurt you. But it wasn't my intention. It's never ever my intention to hurt you. I care about you too much for that."

"People you care about shouldn't make things worse for you," he points out, refusing to meet your gaze.

"You aren't... I mean, it's not you. It's me."

"Really?" he arches an eyebrow at the stereotypical sentence and you groan, frustrated at your inability to articulate your regret properly.

"Look, I got overwhelmed and when I'm like this, I need to stay alone. It has nothing to do with you, or how I feel for you. And I feel for you a lot, and I'm so scared I'll lose you and I can't seem to speak well-" tears trail down your cheek and you wipe them away angrily. You brought this on yourself, you shouldn't cry on top of it.

"I'm so sorry, immensely sorry, Hyunjin. if you still want me, I promise you I will never do this again. I won't lash out at you, you don't deserve that and it was uncalled for. I'm really sorry."

His silence is deafening as you nervously pick at your cuticles, scratching them over and over in your anxiousness. Why isn't he saying anything?

"Okay, um..." you chuckle nervously, as the bulge in your throat threatens to swallow you whole. "I'll let you think of it. I'm so sorry again. And I'm sorry for coming before asking you if you were busy. I'm sorry to bother you and I'm- I'm sorry I'm this way." You hurriedly stand up, heading towards the door when a warm hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

Hyunjin's arms circle your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, anchoring you in place.

"When I'm sad or angry, being near you makes me feel better. It really does. I thought I could do the same for you. That's why I insisted on staying. But I shouldn't have. You and I are different, doesn't mean it's bad," he mumbles onto your neck, tightening his hold on you.

"You've hurt me a lot, but I forgive you because I want us to do better next time. No yelling. No harsh words, okay?"

"Okay. I'll do better. I'm so sorry. So sorry, Hyunjin, you have no idea."

"It's okay. We're good now."

"Really?" you turn around, clutching his arms tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you, stop apologizing," he giggles softly, wiping away the tears trailing down your face.

"I'm sorry, I swear I won't do it again," you apologize again, burying your face in his chest. your tears dampen his shirt but you can't move away. Not that you could in the first place, since his hold on you only tightens further.

"I believe you. Stop crying, please."

"Okay, I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry for saying sorry."

"Shh, baby. No more crying. I missed you," Hyunjin admits softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"I missed you so much more. More than you know."

"Maybe we should start telling each other exactly how much, hm? Not leave it up to imagination."

"Okay, I will. I want to work on this with you. If you want."

"I want to. Couldn't sleep without you."

"I'm so sorry," it slips from your mouth before you can stop it, guilt overflowing from you in waves.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing, hm?" he questions as he picks you up and spins you around, as a laugh escapes your lips, morphing into full-blown giggles. It is only when a genuine smile graces your lips that Hyunjin puts you down once again.

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Am going to say this, I love your yandere headcanons! You write them in such nice ways!

Now if it’s okay with you may I ask for some yandere Capsaicin headcannons?

I can imagine that MC is just some tired hot dog merchant during the Triple Cone Cup and Capsaicin finds something so enticing about it,

But over time I feel like Capsaicin would get violent to other cookies if they happened to talk to MC. And a lil bonus is that MC is to tired to notice until it’s to late…

IM SORRY BUT I INSTANTLY FELT MY SHITPOSTING BRAINCELLS ACTIVATE

Tw: Capsaicin tries to murder a poor soul, shitpost towards the end

Another day of selling those godforsaken greasy hotdogs. The ones made with the worst parts of the animal. When would this Triple Cone Cup event end? You only signed up just for the moderate pay, you didn't think it would drain you so much.

Another fake smile, another faked happy chirp.

You hoped these customers would excuse your behaviour, it was terrible working at a hotdog stand.

Oh look, it's that flashy Scovillia student. He looked more eager than usual to greet you- in fact he's visited you every day since the start of the event.

"MC! MC! Six hotdogs please!" Capsaicin exclaimed, a big grin on his face, he had energy comparable to that of a puppy.

"Sure..." You started up the grill, placing the hotdogs onto their little sections.

"Whatcha' planning to do after the cup?" His eyes stared at you, holding more emotion than you could ever possibly fathom from within yourself.

"Uh...Probably get ready for more schooling later this year...I honestly want to quit college by now.."

"Aww...Well, I was thinkin' we should totally hangout sometime!"

"Hm...yeah..." You mumbled automatically, flipping over the dogs, your focus on preparing his food."

"...Like, maybe a movie- or ooh! A restaurant!"

"Mhm..." You nod, fitting the hotdogs into their individual buns.

"Here you go." You hand him his big meal of six hot dogs. "The condiments are on the side stand, as you know."

"Thanks!" He sprawls out a pocket full of money, before starting to speak up again, "So how about-"

But he realizes your attention is turned away to another customer, ignoring him. Something inside him snaps in that moment, just a tiny little string, in the back of his mind. That bastard! He was still trying to ask you to go on a date hangout! This is his only chance!

Capsaicin managed to keep his rage in control so he could set down the hotdogs you had taken your precious time to prepare for him before exploding into his magma/extra spicy form.

"YOU! DIDN'T YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU TO NOT INTERRUPT CONVERSATIONS???"

The poor customer flinched and stared in absolute horror at sight of the big buff Scovillia student in his violent form. "W-w-wha-"

The public watched as the commotion went down, several cookies trying to keep Capsaicin away, but struggling. He was constantly yelling at the victim, expressing his obvious undying love for the hotdog salesperson.

Meanwhile, MC was barely staying awake, as they grilled more hotdogs. It seems they're too exhausted to notice the literal hellfire that's right next to them.

(IM SORRY- I COULDNT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY- IT WAS A CONCEPT THAT HAD SO MUCH COMEDIC POTENTIAL)

- Celina

[tiny-sassy-aggressive]

9-1-1 WATCH AND REACTION

S3 ep 1 - 5

Ep1

Oh!!! I’ve seen this part a million times on TikTok but never got the conclusion!!!!! Great start!!!!!!!

This singular party was the most Buddie development thus far WITH Christopher I very much so appreciate.

Oh buck. See now I’m really scared bc he’s really hurting himself. He keeps getting lucky but luck runs out.

OH NO buck don’t lie about the reason for the clots! Frickin blood thinners. It makes sense! Doesn’t it? Idk how any of this works. But why quit! There’s something he can do. But maybe not. Oh this is so sad he’s so angry.

Oh gee Eddie how did brushing it off and moving forward work out for you. Lmao???? Love hen bc yeah!!! Let him mourn!! I need a timeline bc what it’s been a week? Two? After trauma and THEN blood clots?? Let him breathe!!

Jill storyline was scary bc that’s too real.

BUCK AND CHRIS!!!!!!! Okay lemme be real. Where did “his buck” come from like? These guys don’t interact! I’m making alot of assumptions off screen - is that what everyone else does too??

Oh here comes the wave IM SCARED

Ep2

OH MY FRICKING GOOD ESS NO NO NO IM SO SCARSD WHAT FHE HELL

DAMN THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS AMAZING THO

Maddie losing Jonas was tough. GUYS these minor character deaths break my HEART. EVERYTIME OW I always think they’ll survive and they never do

Buck being able to super human his way to saving people and CHRIS ALL AT ONCE literally how. Literally superhero.

Underwater cpr?? Hen that was amazing. Also the silly nod to Jacques Cousteau???

HELLO MAY !!!!!!! Oh I adore her. The pure brute strength she has is spectacular the trust she has in her mother and skills she has my goodness

Buck playing ispy with Chris my heart exploded Chris is too good for this world. He just keeps swimming :) he’s so precious and buck takes such good care of him. I lost it when he shielded Chris from the bodies and held his face oh I lost it. Omg this was the *first* time Eddie has ever left Chris with buck geeeeeee Louise

CHEIS JO CHRIS JO IFF THE FRUXK JOBJO CHRIS WHAT WHERE DID HE CHEIS NO. Bucks cries WILL haunt me

Ep 3

DAMN BUCK

I kinda mess with Lena. I hope that wasn’t the last of her. Tons of respect. Kinda reminded me of buck because of her stubbornness and loyalty to her captain, even to push through in obvious pain.

Buck calling Maddie first hurt. All he needed was his sister to help him and that hurt. OH EDDIE SAW HIM myogsh they are such amazing actors. The simple shifting of the eyes portrayed so much damn emotion.

HOW DARE THEY USE ED SHEERAN SOAKSK DAMN

big sister :( my goodness I love Maddie

Ayo that last scene with Buddie and Chris was insane??? Insane??? I LOVE the way Eddie chased bucks eyes so that he would look at him. That’s my all time favorite. Also? First episode where buck calls Eddie his best friend ? Yes? And now all of a sudden Eddie trusts BUCK with Chris over everyone else?? Hmmmm yeah. This is the first time I’m really seeing the ship tbh. Like I saw it in the first ep of them together but here is really solidifying a connection rather than external factors pushing like the elf or the comments in the lice stream. I see their development now.

Ep 4

BUCK WITH A CLIPBOARD I LOVE HIM LOVE taking that light duty seriously you go buck!!!!!!

Henren with the children!!! Only vs siblings. I’m team sibling! One of four here :)

Oh okay um. Has anyone been talking to buck or like. When he showed up that day that was that. And they taped his name OUCH not the way I wanted to see Lena again but I still really like her!!!!!! Lena and buck are fantastic foils I can’t

Oh Chris my darling of course he has nightmares could buck talk to him???

Bobby what the hell? BOBBY?? WHAT??? IT WAS YOU????? ALL THIS? DOES THE TEAM JNOW??

Did..did Maddie try to kill a man???

Oh buck wait. Wait wait wait buck oh oh no

Maddie??? Is this healthy???? How did you find her job????

I. I can’t be mad at buck for his choice. I can’t be mad at Bobby for holding back. They are running a parallel course. Doing what they believe it right.

Ep 5

Oh that lawsuit was BRUTAL. Lawyer really pulled out all the stops. Can’t lie. Pretty convincing it was a good case.

Michael May and Harry with the cops oh I was shaking absolutely not

This entire episode is just. Everyone is mad. And both sides are viable! It’s hard to. Find peace in one answer bc there isn’t one answer.

EDDIE LITERALLY NEEDED TO BE BAILED OUT HELLO?? CMON MAN

buck you are 28y/o. You should know how lawyers work. Especially ambulance chasers. You told him everything. Why wouldn’t he use it?

Why is Eddie getting heated in the grocery store- I thought Bobby had the problem??? Okay. Hold on.

So Eddie is mad at buck for making his problem everyone else’s problem. But then yells at buck bc he isn’t around to be there for him? With his own problems? That doesn’t make sense! But alas ! Sometimes anger doesn’t make sense.

Also timeline doesn’t exist in 9-1-1 but couldn’t Eddie have spoken to buck before the lawsuit about Chris. How long did the lawsuit even last like how long could Chris not see buck. Buck said nobody from the 118 was really around anyway so. Where were they?

Henren is breaking my heart I was so excited for their possible baby -

Okay Lena and buck pair up LOVE it. But. Bobby never apologized for what he did to buck? Okay buck apologized great! Moving forward Doesn’t buck get one too?

Oh great. Now eddies illegally fighting.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader

Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.

And I didn't leave the house.

That says a lot about today...

Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...

helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??

I live for it.

Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.

I love you, baby-cakes.

Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.

--------

For the 5th time writing this :

FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE

Thanks.

-------

Hell - What was that place, anyway?

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.

He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...

"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.

"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.

Yay.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

_________________________

Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to. 

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows. 

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets. 

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later. 

Then came The Witchers. 

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see. 

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live. 

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly. 

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus. 

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person. 

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings. 

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they��d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again. 

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear. 

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived. 

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off. 

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands. 

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming. 

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train. 

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable. 

It was surreal. 

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time. 

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent. 

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck. 

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either. 

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications. 

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.” 

[cacoetheswriting]

for you and i

Pairings: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: honestly just pure fluff, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, implied smut (nothing graphic) Word Count: 2.2k Summary: A small collection of moments throughout reader’s and Spencer’s evolving relationship that features their song. A/N: this symbol ~~ signifies a time jump.

A/N: i finished my rewatch of bones last night (im hella emotional), and one of my favourite “running gags” from the show is hot blooded being booths and brennans song, and how the writers reminded us of that from season to season. it definitely definitely inspired me to write this. also i did this instead of working on my assignment as a birthday gift from me to me lmao ENJOY

-

The plane trip back home was completely silent.

Morgan and JJ were catching up on much needed sleep. Emily, lost in thought, observed the night sky through the small window. Rossi was reading, as Hotch worked his way through some case files.

Spencer sat next to you at the far end of the jet. You were listening to music while his nose was buried in a book. Although you could tell he couldn't really concentrate on the words as the page remained unturned for the last fifteen minutes.

“Why don’t you let your eyes rest for a minute?” You suggested, carefully taking out one earphone. “A short nap could be good for you. It doesn’t look like you’re retaining any information anyway.”

Spencer nodded slowly, agreeing with you. He shut the novel in his lap and tilted his head to look at you, his lips pursed into a thin shy smile. “You should get some sleep too Y/N.”

“I’m okay.” You replied. “Plus someone has to keep watch in case the jet gets abducted by aliens or something.” A sly grin appeared on your face as Spencer chuckled softly. He rested his head against the chair and gradually closed his eyes.

You watched him for a moment. Examining his perfect features. Your innocent crush growing by the second - something you would never admit out loud in fear it would ruin your friendship.

When you were about to place the earpiece back in your ear, his eyes shot back open. He sighed heavily.

"I actually don’t think I can.” Spencer said quietly and once again turned his attention to you. His gaze briefly landed on the phone in your hands before travelling up to your face. “Did you know that in addition to aiding relaxation and helping with falling asleep quicker as well as improving sleep quality, playing music before bed can improve sleep efficiency? Which means more time you are in bed is actually spent sleeping.” You raised a curious brow waiting for him to continue, but he just asked: “Can I ask what you are listening to?”.

Instead of answering his question, you wiped the dangling earphone against your blouse and handed it to him. He took it, a little hesitantly, and placed it in his ear - the two of you unconsciously shifting closer to one another.

You could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't know the song currently playing, nor did he particularly like it, but he didn't protest or ask you to skip it. In his eyes, you were kind enough to share your source of entertainment therefore he would never push to change what you were clearly enjoying.

The song ended, another began, and another, and another. Eventually Spencer closed his eyes again. The two of you continued to silently listen to the various songs on your playlist - a wild mix of different artists and genres, definitely showcasing your weird music taste.

Touch Me by The Doors began to play.

“I like this one.” Spencer muttered, eyes still closed. “I didn't peg you to be a rock fan.” You stated curiously. Spencer chuckled softly. “I wouldn't call myself a fan per se, this is just a very good song.” “This is actually my favourite song of theirs.” You proclaimed.

Sinking deeper in your seat, you quietly sang along. “What was that promise that you made?” To your pleasant surprise, the young doctor joined in. “Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?” 

Lost in the pure bliss of the moment, you gently rested your head against Spencer’s shoulder. His eyes fluttered open. He glanced down at you and smiled to himself. Yes. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

~~

“Watch it!!!” You shouted and rudely gestured after the vehicle that overtook you out of nowhere, almost sliding right into your car. Frustrated, you ran your hands through your hair before placing them on the wheel again. A deep sigh escaping your lips in the process.

Spencer chuckled next to you. “Maybe next time I’ll drive.”

“Sorry.” You muttered, tone of your voice changing completely for a moment. “People are just so fucking stupid.” The groan was full of annoyance, and it only made the young doctor snicker louder.

“How about we turn on the radio?” Spencer suggested. “Cool you down a little since we have another hour drive ahead of us, and I would preferably like to get there in one piece.” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his comment, but didn’t protest.

Taking your silence as a yes, Spencer fumbled with the car radio.

‘Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe’

Voice of Jim Morrison blared through the speakers. Instantly, your whole body loosened up. No longer feeling annoyed or angry. Driver’s rage dissipated. The frown circling your features was replaced by a happy smile.

‘Can't you see that I am not afraid?’

Stopping at a red light, you looked at Spencer who was lightly bopping his head to the beat of the music. His gentle curls bouncing with his every move.

“You know, the universe is telling us that this is our song now.” You noted. The young doctor met your gaze, and the grin present on his face made your heart skip a beat. A faint hit of nerves cascaded through your body as you anxiously waited for his response.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It’s a good song. The universe could have wished us a lot worse.”

As the light ahead turned green, and you were driving once again, the two of you burst into the chorus as loud as you possibly could: “Now, I'm going to love you! Till the heavens stop the rain!”.

~~

The bar was filled to the brim with people wanting to unwind after a long week of work. That included the BAU team.

“One more for the road!” Morgan exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. He motioned to Hotch for assistance and the two of them briskly walked off in the direction of the bar. “While they’re gone, I’m gonna hop to the loo.” Penelope chimed. “I’ll join you.” JJ spoke up and they hurried off.

Spencer sat beside you, shoulder pressed lightly to yours. He was sipping on the remainder of his drink and you were about to open your mouth to say something, engage him in conversation, when you heard it. The song. Your song.

Your head instantly snapped up at him and a mischievous grin spread on your face. By the time Spencer realised what was going on, you were up on your feet grabbing him by the arm, and pulling him onto the self-made dance floor.

You began to sway along to the music. The alcohol currently flowing through your veins definitely made you that much braver. It also gave Spencer the confidence boost he needed to join you with no objections.

Despite the questionable looks you were undoubtedly receiving, the two of you jumped around like kids. Singing the song out loud to one another. It was as if the world around you disappeared. Like you and Spencer were the only people left in the bar.

‘Till the stars fall from the sky’

And when the night concluded, when everyone said their goodbyes, Spencer continued to hum the melody of your song as he waited with you for the taxi. It was then you chose to make the first move - colliding your lips with his in a carefree kiss.

They were softer than you ever imagined. 

All at once, the attraction between you two and the tension that built up over the years burst. You grabbed onto his jacket pulling him even closer. Suddenly, the cold night air didn’t feel so cold anymore. It was hot, burning like a flame. Your body was on fire and so was his. 

Spencer’s long arms wrapped around you, trapping you in the fire. One of his hands moved lower down your back, while the other tightly gripped your hair. The sensation that he felt was unimaginable. He always imagined what you would taste like, although he never expected anything would happen. He imagined how your body would feel against his. How your lips taste. But this, this exceeded all expectations.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said in a smoky voice after pulling away, his hands now holding your face. “That’s what I was going to say.” You managed to whisper before his lips landed on yours again. Your heart pounding hard inside your chest, it felt as if it was about to explode.

~~

Spencer huffed as he placed a heavy cardboard box down on the ground. He straightened himself, flattened down his crinkly t-shirt, and turned to you with a smile. “That’s the last of it.” He stated proudly, placing his hands on his hips.

“My hero.” You ambled towards him and pecked his lips. “Thank you.” His arms made their way around your waist, pulling you in close. He placed a tender kiss on your forehead before glancing around the room.

“I can’t believe we’re officially moved in together.”

“It’s been a longtime coming.”

“That it definitely has.” Spencer smiled kissing you. He let his arms fall and shuffled around to start unpacking. 

Having planned ahead, you removed a speaker from your handbag. You quickly set it up, connecting it to your phone, and pressed play to ease the process that would carry on into the night.

Starting with the kitchen, and the more fragile items, the two of you made your way through the new apartment. 

Hours passed. It was getting quite late as tiny yawns continuously escaped your lips. However, the hard work was paying off because space started to feel more and more like home.

You decided to finish up for the night - tomorrow was another day. Yawning, you leaned into the arms of your boyfriend. Spencer kissed the top of your head and began to sway you slowly from side to side.

Right on queue, the guitar intro you both recognised well began to play through the speakers. You smiled into his chest before breaking free from his embrace. 

‘Yeah! Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe Can't you see that I am not afraid’

Sharing a knowing look, you both started to dance. Not wanting to disrupt any neighbours you both chose not to sing along like you usually did. Instead, you mouthed the words in sync as if you were competing in a lip-sync battle.

‘What was that promise that you made? Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?’

The two of you circled happily around one another. It wasn't long before the air guitars came into play. 

And as the song concluded, Spencer cupped your cheeks. “I love you.” He muttered, gazing deep into your eyes. “I love you too.” You replied smiling.

Without another word, Spencer’s lips crashed against yours. Both your heads tilting hungrily from side to side to vary pressure. Hearts hammering loudly. Your hands made their way up his muscled back as his hands traveled down your neck, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Why don’t we move this party to the bedroom?” He suggested, his face still only inches away from yours. You lifted your hand, and brushed some of his light curls away behind his ear. “I do believe I read somewhere that it is considered bad luck not to christen the bed on the first night of living together.” You stated giggling. 

Spencer raised an interested brow. “What else does the article say?”

“How about I just show you.” And like that, your lips were on his once again as he blindly led you to the bed.

~~

“And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to bring out our newlyweds, Dr. & Mrs. Reid, to dance their first dance as husband and wife. Let’s give them a hand.”

Spencer turned to you, that warm kindhearted smile you loved so much circling his lips. He offered you his hand. “Mrs. Reid.” You took it gladly. “Dr. Reid.”

He led you to the middle of the dance floor and swiftly wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you close, while the other hand intertwined itself with yours. Music started to play and the two of you swayed elegantly from side to side.

“I have a surprise for you.” Spencer whispered in your ear before briefly pulling apart and twirling you around. 

Suddenly the music stopped. Sounds of disappointment echoed through the watching crowd as you shot your husband a quizzical look.

A melody you knew all too well filled the space.

Your mouth parted slightly in shock as Spencer let his arm fall from your waist. He spun you around once again and began rhythmically banging his head to the beat of the song. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight before joining in.

Excited screams echoed through the crowd as they cheered on. Even though you heard them, you knew people were watching and documenting this moment, you felt as if there was no-one else around - déjà vu.

Spencer pressed his forehead lightly to yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. His lips twirled into a smile. A big smile that you reciprocated. Feeling as if you were on cloud nine, you looked deep into each others eyes and whole heartedly sang along with the song. Your song.

‘I'm going to love you Till the heavens stop the rain I'm going to love you Till the stars fall from the sky For you and I’

-

masterlist

[fairestwriting]

im so happy you had fun with that prompt!! i now would like to request a continuation of it 👀 male childhood friend finally finishes all 1000 cranes and confesses to idia. (the papercuts on his fingers hurt, but it will be worth it, maybe. anything for his friend, even if his wish fails and he can never breach that distance)

*incoherent idialiker crying* Thank you for requesting this (post prequel here!)

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

word count: 1111- over the limit but shh pretend you didnt see that. im treating myself

#991 comes to be, place right next to its siblings, in their multicolored paper glory. You’d folded... how many of these, today? They were turning into quite the pile near your desk. You tossing the newest addition to it seems to get Idia’s attention away from the handheld console he was busying himself with as he laid down on your bed.

“...another?” He asks, eyes away from the screen for a second. You sigh.

“Yup. That makes it 991.”

Silence. He’s staring without much of an expression. You feel nervous for some reason, like you rarely do around him.

“You’re... really close to the 1000, huh. So you were serious about this.” He mumbles, and goes back to the game. You take another sheet.

“I told you I’d be.” You boast, smug smile on your face that doesn’t really fit how tired your hands feel from the repetitive movements.

Idia steals another glance -- Quicker, like he feels guilty for looking.

“I don’t know if this means you’re crazy,” He starts, stopping for a second to... slay an enemy in the game? Finish his full combo? Who knows. You didn’t. “Or that you really like this person.”

Heat creeps up your neck. You almost want to laugh.

“T...The latter, I guess.” You mutter, and you fold another. Crane #992, you stare at it briefly. The laughing is still stuck in your throat, out of embarrassment or just amusement, you’re not sure.

“You’re still not telling me who it is.” Idia sighs. Does he sound upset? You can’t exactly tell. You’re about to pull another sheet of paper, but your hands protest.

“I said I’d tell you when I finished all of them.” You insist -- Heart beating a little faster, would today be that day? You were so close. You could finish in just a couple minutes, but your breaks between cranes were getting so much longer now. The skin on your fingers is littered with cuts, everything achey and uncomfortable from the effort. “Can’t you wait for, uh... seven more?”

“So I’m hearing about it today?”

Idia actually looks at you now, and for once, you’re the one who’s being flustered. You find that you lack a proper response to it.

“...maybe! Are you even ready for that?” You tease, but there’s little to no bite to it. Ugh, now you’re thinking about it. All the stupid pining had been getting to your head so easily, recently, especially when Idia seems to insist on being close to you even more often. Does that idiot even know what he’s doing? Obviously he does not, but you’ll still ask yourself that question. “You’ve been pestering me since I started.”

“W-Well, I wanna know who my childhood friend is so crazy in love with? The way you act makes me think of a dating sim.” He says, the console leaning on his chest as he looks up at your ceiling. “...that archetype of the pining childhood friend of the protagonist, who never really gets what they want.”

Hey, are you trying to jinx me? “T-That’s not funny, Idia.” You feel your eye twitch. Does this idiot even know what he’s doing? You ask again, this time less amused about his actions. A smirk seems to surge on Idia’s lips.

“Fuhihi, why? Are you scared that’s how you’re gonna end up?” He giggles. Bastard. Jerk. Idiot. “Well, it’s fine, right. If you’re not childhood friends with them then you’re a completely different character. I’ve always thought you fitted the stubborn tsundere better.”

Your stomach is in knots, heart racing. You had been folding while he spoke -- On 994 now.

“...wait. D-Don’t tell me.”

Silence. Idia sits up on the bed, and he stares at you. Your face feels hot. So you’ve noticed? So you’re finally figuring it out? You fold #995.

“...hey, are you...”

“No.” You speak, interrupting him easily. “Five more. Wait for them.”

“T-This isn’t funny. You can’t be joking about that.”

A smile creeps on your face, though your hands begin shaking wildly. “Four more, Idia.” You breathe in deep. So here goes nothing. The paper cuts hurt just a bit less, and you wonder if in these few minutes, they’ll be completely numbed out, or they’ll join the burn of your heartbreak.

In the end, it’d been quite the journey, and maybe that itself made everything worth it. At least you tried, and at least you tried well -- In a way or another, Idia gets to see your devotion.

“Two more.” You murmur. “Keep being patient for me, okay?”

You fold #998, then #999 in that silence. Yes, it’s worth it. No matter how it ends, you wouldn’t have this -- All those years, those buried and tangled feelings -- any other way.

“One more.” You pick the sheet up, and you walk over to the bed, standing in front of him. Idia watches you with his eyes wide, like he’s witnessing a fever dream. You begin to fold. “We’re almost here, so I guess I should...start, huh.”

Your hands keep moving. One more fold, then another. You could do this without looking at them now.

“I don’t even know how I could say this.” You shake your head. Another one. “But fist I’ve gotta mention you’re so stupid for never picking up on it. I mean, could I be any more obvious than this?”

With a laugh, the crane is done. Idia’s eyes widen even more -- If that was even possible. You feel like your heart could explode when you take his hand, shakily, with an uncertainty you usually only see on him, and place the crane on his palm.

“It’s for you, idiot. Everything’s always been for you. It couldn’t be anyone else, even with... all these others that I’ve thought about, no one’s ever came close to what I feel for you.” It spills out, you swallow, trying to keep the overflowing of your emotions at bay, but it’s impossible by now, really -- And you look into his stupidly beautiful amber eyes. “It’s always been you, Idia. I’m in love with you.”

The following seconds are like torture, with him saying nothing as he looks at the crane in his hands in complete shock. You sigh. It’s at least I tried, and at least I told him, but also I hope this works, I hope he understands me.

Idia holds the crane in his hands, shaky, but still cautious -- Not wanting to wrinkle it. Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

“S-So can I finally say...” He murmurs, looking into your eyes -- Time stops. It’s a fairytale now, instead of just life. “That it’s always been you for me, too?”

[suneatersupportsquad]

red handed; colby brock

request:  im not sure if you do requests or even any imagines for colby brock anymore but i was wondering if you cold make a exception, so basically the plot is that the reader met colby through kat and since then they hit it off, now their in a secretive relationship the only person who knows is kat but she only knows the reader has a crush on colby. one day everyones hanging out in the same room room and colby is sexting the reader, sams curious to whos hes texting and they find out their dating.

dedication: @whydontweanons​

genre: fluff, subtle smut?

pairing: colby brock x gn!reader

characters: colby brock, sam golbach, katrina stuart, corey scherer, jake webber, kevin langue, brennen taylor, devyn lundy, tara yummy

word count: 1.8k

warnings: alcohol, what would probably be underage drinking, NSFW (barely), sexting (duh), mentions of COVID-19, quarantine

a/n: of course i’ll still write for sam and colby!! it’s just that, since i’m not as active of a follower of them as i used to be, my goal is to write for fandoms that i’m more invested in at the moment. but, honestly, i don’t think i could ever really stop writing for them. i love those boys so much. also this plot made me laugh so hard when i saw it in the best way possible. getting this request honestly made my day, so thank you for that!! anyways, i’m a little rusty, but here we go.

important links: masterlist

find more fics at my new blog @trapboysbunny

You and Colby had known each other for a long time - pretty much since he’d moved to LA with Sam - and you had been involved romantically just as long. You had met him and Sam through Kat on a boring Saturday night when all their friends flaked on coming to a little kickback they were hosting. Trying to be a good friend and cheer the boys up, Katrina had invited you to hopefully kickstart some emotional momentum. Your eyes met Colby’s for the first time and you clicked. Something in your gut had told you that the two of you would end up being close, and it was right. You had hit it off immediately, not taking very long to start laughing at one another’s corny jokes and telling stories over Smirnoff Ice while some random late night show played in the background. From that night on, it was history.

Since then, you two had been practically attached at the hip. If you weren’t sitting on the same room or facetiming, you were definitely texting one another. It became a running joke in your friend group that you two had evolved into a pair of siamese twins, or that being without you gave Colby separation anxiety. The two of you found it even more amusing when you actually began dating, not long after that fateful first night. It amazed the both of you that you were able to hide your relationship so well. No one had a clue. The two of you laughed about it quite often, actually, over late night phone calls and tipsy afternoons spent only with each other. No one knew, and nobody needed to know.

Colby, due to the internet and his fanbase being the way it is, preferred to keep his personal (and especially romantic) relationships more on the private side. His intent wasn’t necessarily to hide his feelings and relationship with you from his friends, but that particular topic of conversation never really came up in your friend group. Everyone had just kind of figured that everyone single would simply date someone when they were ready and tell everybody about it when they felt the time was appropriate. It wasn’t that Colby didn’t want to tell them, he just didn’t see the point in going out of his way to tell all of his friends hey after God knows how long I finally have a partner. He just didn’t want to make a big deal out of your relationship. Knowing his friends, they would definitely make it into some type of big thing, not to mention that Jake would dub the occasion as “cause for celebration” (which was really just an excuse to drink more). So Colby preferred to keep things on the quieter side for you two; neither of you wanted to make your relationship into an object for speculation.

Kat was the only person out of all of your friends to have any knowledge of your feelings for Colby. And thank God for her; if you didn’t have her to gush about Colby to, you probably would have either exploded or died. Or both. And she was there for every single second of it. She loved hearing about your movie nights, your urban exploring adventures, the sweet yet mundane things he would do to make you happy, literally anything. She ate that shit up like a man starved, and you did the same for her and Sam (regardless of the fact that their relationship was public already). You hadn’t told her explicitly about the nature of your relationship with Colby, really just gushed about your ever-growing love for the boy. Unbeknownst to you, she firmly believed that you only had feelings for Colby, clueless to the fact that the two of you had actually been dating for quite a while now. With her “go get ‘em, tiger” comments, along with similar remarks, you assumed that she had some sort of idea about your relationship with Cole, hence why you had never explicitly told her about your secret boyfriend. Kat, being the good friend that she was, never spilled your “secret” feelings to anyone else. Not even her boyfriend.

Eventually, quarantine started up amidst the international COVID-19 pandemic and you had begun practically living with the trap boys. A day without you in the house was enough to prompt concern for the boys, minus Colby who always knew the real reason why you weren’t coming over. This soon became the new normal, you taking a “day off” every few weeks to get tested just in case. At this point, it was almost comical that no one had figured out you two were dating yet.

One particular weekend afternoon, everyone in your friend group was hanging out at the house. You and Colby were sitting on opposite sides of the room, you next to Kat and Colby seated beside Sam. It was particularly warm today seeing as this Saturday landed smack in the middle of the infamous August heat wave, so you had thrown on a tank top and some shorts, nothing to flashy. Colby had dressed similarly, wearing only a muscle tee and a pair of trunks.

You were sat beside Kat, the both of you trying to listen to the story Devyn was telling. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t ignore the way your boyfriend was staring at you from across the room. You looked away from Dev for just a second to shoot him a glare when you realize exactly why he’s looking at you. The speed at which the blood rushes to your face is dizzying, and you drop your head to stare at your lap. Motherfucker- You sigh as you pull your phone out of your pocket. “Quit it with the blowjob eyes asshole,” you type before pressing the blue send button.

You feel his gaze break as his phone vibrates. Trying to ignore him, you refuse to meet his gaze again, putting all of your effort into focusing on Devyn’s story. Seconds later your phone vibrates in your pocket. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the screen reads, and you shake your head.

“Uh huh sure ok.” You pressed send again.

Another few seconds passed and your phone vibrated again. “That shirt looks really good on you.” 

You blushed as you read the message, flustered by the comment. Brows knitting together in confusion, you looked up to find him staring back at you with a dopey grin. You hunched over your phone and sent a message back. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Colby replied, a gray typing bubble sitting under the message. “But you know how it would look cuter?”

You cocked your head to the side and typed out your response. “How?”

“On my bedroom floor.” You almost snorted at that, clamping a hand over your mouth to prevent any noise from escaping. Typical. Thankfully no one had been paying enough attention to you to notice that you were distracted.

Colby, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. “Give me this, dude,” Sam said, snatching the phone out of Colby’s hand and effectively bringing the conversation on their side of the room to a halt. “You haven’t been listening for like the past 20 minutes, dude. Now let’s see what’s got you so distracted.”

“You don’t need to look at that, Sam, it’s not that important-” The tall brunette sounded slightly panicky as he reached and grappled with Sam for his phone. Sam played around for a little bit before finally reading the screen, eyes widening in amusement.

Upon finishing his reading, Sam lowered the phone and Colby relaxed, already knowing that he was caught. “So who’s ‘angelcakes,’ huh Colbert?” Sam prodded teasingly.

Colby blushed ever so slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “They’re just a friend-”

“Which friend, huh?” Sam continued his teasing, growing louder and louder with every response until all eyes were on the two boys.

Colby shrugged, trying to be nonchalant but looking more stressed than ever in actuality. “Just a friend.”

“What do you say we call this friend, huh boys?” Sam suggested.

Kevin nodded, agreeing. “I think we definitely should.” Brennen also nodded when Sam looked to him for approval, essentially finalizing the decision.

“Okay then, let’s do this thing!” Sam yelled, earning cheers from all the other curious folks in the room. The blonde boy pressed call and Colby simply held his face in his hands.

You jumped when your phone rang, honestly having forgotten that oh shit, I’m angelcakes. Everyone turned to look at you curiously, Colby even peeking through his fingers. You didn’t even pick up the device, already knowing whose name would be lighting up the screen. “You gonna pick that up or something?” Corey asked awkwardly.

You shook your head, leaving your phone face down in its spot beside your thigh. “No, it’s probably not important anyways.”

A beat of heavy silence passed before Tara spoke. “Gee, they sure aren’t giving up. Maybe you should answer it.”

“Nah, I’m sure it’s just-”

“Yeah, you should answer the phone, Y/N,” Jake agreed, the pieces seeming to click in his head.

You sighed, burning bright red to the tips of your ears. “Okay okay, fine.” You stood and clicked the answer button. “Hello?”

And there it was, your voice echoing from Colby’s phone. The room erupted in cheers of disbelief, the boys pouncing on Colby and the girls slapping you in playful excitement. “I knew there was something going on between you two!! There’s no way there couldn’t have been -- I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Kat squealed, smushing you in a hug.

The rest of the girls echoed the sentiment, a chorus of ‘same’s and ‘I can’t believe you’s. It took a while for everyone to calm down but, once everyone settled, you and Cole managed to get some alone time. The two of you escaped out back, the less than mediocre breeze cooling the sweat that slicked your skin. You held each other, almost as though you were about to start slow dancing. “Damn, caught red handed, huh?”

You laughed breathily, leaning your forehead against his shoulder. “It was only a matter of time, ya know?”

“I know,” he agreed, cheek pressing against your hair. “I’m glad we don’t have to be weird around them anymore.”

“Me too,” you hummed.

Colby pulled away a little bit, just enough for him to look you in the eyes, your arms still around his neck. “Hey.”

You giggled, confused. “Hey.”

“I love you.”

You smiled your confirmation, eyes twinkling under the cheap backyard lights. “I love you.”

.x

[oftenderweapons]

Sooo, about the ask thing. First off all congratulations I love you and your writing 💜 you seem like such a nice, intelligent and funny person. But was thinking what if namjoon comes home drunk and guilty about something he did and vixen comforts him. Love u💋

Title: Drunk (&) In Love

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 2.6k

Genre: crack, fluff, (also, vaguely allusive)

Rating: 18+ cause THESE TWO ARE A MESS FOR EACH OTHER

Synopsis: apparently Namjoon's stag party went a bit too wild. Mostly since he was drinking guilt away. What could that possibly be about?

Trigger warnings: swearing, consumption of alcohol, horny!drunk Joon, he clumsily tries to seduce his fianceé in front of yoonjintae (second-hand embarrassment), stressing over vows, mentions of kinky letters, they discuss future and the fear of marrying young and pretty much out of the blue and they be mentioning the idea of having kids. Also, watch Vixen being the caregiver.

Author's note: Thanking the sweetheart @ironicarmy !!! I love exchanging WIPs and Beta reading! It was so fun and I AM LOVING YOUR WIP SO HARD IM GONNA EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't wait for it to be out so I can fangirl in public LOLOLOL; also thanking @dopesportsoperatorzonk for this request! (I got your feminism ask, I promise I'm almost done, I wanted to have a quite thorough view before replying and I'm still thinking about some stuff, but it'll be readdy super soon!!!)

Here's my masterlist, btw, and enjoy 💜✨

You weren't supposed to wait up for him, but it was like your sixth sense was telling you to do precisely that. And your premonition turned especially accurate once you were met with the sorry sight of Namjoon hanging off Taehyung's and Seokjin's body, grinning as he saw you appear at the door, head to toe smitten, only to turn to his friends with a sneer as he realised you were wearing his favourite silk robe. The deep crimson colour seemed to spark the colour of your hair on fire, and make the lineaments of your face sharper, older, with a kind of allure he still couldn't understand. “Little fox,” he said, going grabby hands while his arms were still around his friends' shoulders.

You tried to keep your expression stern as you looked at the two men literally holding him up. “What is this? Didn't I tell you to bring him home whole and safe?”

Taehyung lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Is this your idea of safe, Seokjin? I expected better.”

“You know him. He did this to himself.” Yoongi spoke neutrally from behind the three.

“Yoongi. Him being a fucking grizzly doesn't mean he can hold his liquor. Bring him in,” you said, freeing the entryway for the triplet coming in, Yoongi in tow.

“We should have brought him to the dorms,” he muttered.

“Dorms?!? Aneeyo…” Namjoon babbled, shaking his head, falling with his ass on the sofa. “No babylove in dorms,” he said with a hiccup. “Hello, little one,” he purred, grabbing your hips and trying to pull you towards him.

You blushed and slapped at his wrists. “I'll deal with you later—”

“Feisty brat,” he spoke sultrily, making Yoongi shake his head while Seokjin and Taehyung snickered before being chastised by your scolding stare.

“How come he's drunk off his ass and the three of you are perfectly okay?”

“He's the one getting married,” Taehyung replied, matter of factly. “And yes, he was the one who swallowed a bottle of hard liquor without even flinching.”

You glance at Namjoon with a scornful expression.

He did some very drunk, very clumsy attempt at a wink that made you inhale as you desperately looked for a crumb of patient left.

“You'd better go home, before I smack you all on the head,” you said, shooing them off.

“You'd have to reach it first,” Taehyung muttered, making Seokjin giggle, Yoongi rubbing his face at the verbal violence that was about to come.

“Kim Taehyung. I may not be tall enough for your royal head, but your girlfriend is my best friend. I won't say much more because I'm sure your friends aren't interested in your ass getting bruised.”

Yoongi smiled smugly at that one.

“Hell yeah…” Namjoon chuckled from the sofa, one hand reaching for the back of your thigh.

“No. Not now.”

“Later then?” He asked with puppy eyes before they turned into a very tipsy version of his intense dragon glance. “You’re so sexy when you’re mean,” he rumbled, a hand reaching for your thigh underneath the robe.

“Kim Namjoon, if you don’t stop I will unwife you in this instant.” Still, the other three men in the room were a mess of embarrassed coughing and teasing snorts. “You can all go home right now,” you said with a curt tone.

“You’re not gonna be able to take him to bed by yourself.” Yoongi cocked an eyebrow as he spoke calmly.

“Mh, Vixen, take me to bed, please,” Namjoon murmured as he tried to seduce you, just as you looked at him and replied, “No need to take him to bed. He’s sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“See? I told you she found out! She has a sixth sense for this stuff! She can sense it! She can smell fear! I told you!!!” Namjoon babbled, grabbing your wrist. “Little fox...” he cooed, making a fool of himself.

“Go home. All of you. Now.”

Taehyung was the first to leave without even saying goodbye. He knew he would pay for it. Seokjin was the next, saying bye to Namjoon very briefly before bowing to you — just slightly. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, goodnight,” he apologised, making his way out.

“Yoongi?”

He rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry. Really. I— I didn’t do my job.”

You shook your head. “This is a mess I’ll have to deal with.”

“You know you’ll kind of have to deal with him for the rest of your life, right?” Yoongi looked at Namjoon, head in his hands, fingers tugging at it nervously.

You followed his gaze, meeting Namjoon in the poorest of states. “I know. He’s my business now. Go.”

Yoongi left without much resistance after that, the door of your apartment finally shutting for good.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said, staring up at you as you stood before him. “I fucked up, I’m sorry.”

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “What happened, Joonie bear?”

He shook his head, lip going wobbly. “I’m so sorry!” he babbled again, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“Oh, no, baby…” you managed to whisper before he dove for your lap, burying his face there. “What happened, love?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing’s gonna change the fact that I love you, big bear.” You caressed his hair as his voice confessed, half-muffled against your tummy.

“I sneaked a look at the dress.” You could hear his words coming out from a pout.

“Joonie—”

“Please don’t unwife me!” He cried out, his voice way too high pitched. “I don’t want to sleep alone ever.” He hugged your legs and held you closer. “I want to sleep next to you until I die.” He got even more emotional as he went on. “I want you to always pet my hair and tell me you’re proud of me and cook for me and be my sweetheart and my babylove and my little fox forever, even when we’re old and I get bald.”

You smiled and invited him to let go of your legs before sitting down, your legs slightly parted laying across the sofa. “Come here, big bear,” you said, patting your stomach. He did as he was told, laying his head below your chest and stretching his long body all over the seat. He struggled a little, his sense of balance temporarily worse than usual. “Soon I’ll be lawfully your bride. Forever. We’re almost there, honey. Just a week.”

He nodded.

“And then I’ll be your little fox until I’m nothing but ashes. And then some,” you reassured him, petting his lovely head, digging your fingers into the knots in his upper back.

“Writing the vows was so difficult.”

“I know baby,” you kept rubbing at his trapezoi until he released a relieved grunt. “I know that must have been really stressful for you.”

“I had to rewrite them sixteen times. Sixteen!” His hand absentmindedly reached your thigh and started rubbing small circles there. “Everytime, they were too long, or too cliché, or something I just couldn’t read in public because you know our letters.”

“I know our letters,” you confirmed, thinking about his messy handwriting on cheap paper, and entire sheets of words that he sent you everytime something important happened, everytime he had to travel for his job, everytime he just needed to make love to you on a deeper level. And then, thinking of your replies, always heartfelt, emotional, with fine calligraphy on expensive ivory sheets often marred with rough spots where a tear fell — most of the time because of joy and gratitude and obliterating, overwhelming love. “Will you read to me the other sixteen versions too, once we’re alone?”

He nodded. “I’ll read them all. I’ll write new ones every day. Small, simple, absolutely mundane. Stuff like, ‘I’ll do the dishes tonight’, or ‘Let’s go out for dinner’, or ‘I wanna grow old with you’ or ‘I don’t wanna watch that porn tonight, let’s just stare into each other’s eyes while naked and have the best tantric sex ever performed’.”

You chuckled and placed your hand atop of his. “I like the last one.”

“But I couldn’t say it in front of your parents, therefore I couldn’t write it in our vows.” He scoffed and shook his head before planting it between your breasts, nosing at the lapels of the robe until he could kiss your naked skin.

“I might have written something along those lines in one of my drafts.” Having this conversation with Namjoon while he was halfway drunk off his ass was extremely entertaining; however, you felt sad at the possibility of him not remembering this moment.

“What else did you write in that draft?” He closed his eyes, waiting for your soft voice to calm him down.

You smiled and slightly teared up at the thought, his chin propped on your chest, one of his thumbs reaching out to dry up a tear. “I wrote that I hope I get to make you smile every day and see that insanely cute and sexy dimple of yours every morning after you wake up. And I want to be the only one listening to your deep bedroom voice waking me up. And I want to listen to you as you talk to our children. I wanna hear all the stories, and watch your smile shine on their faces.”

Namjoon hid his face against your chest, feeling tears roll down his cheeks.

“I want them to have your eyes. I want to see your complete wonder as they learn about the world, as you teach them about the world in that grand and beautiful way you see it.” You sniffled and he cupped your face, kissing your lips so slowly, the heavy tang of liquor barely tainting the moment.

“I want to walk by your side, until we’re too tired to walk and watch time pass by, without worries, without haste. I don’t care where we’re walking because you were the place I was destined to be.”

Namjoon couldn’t explain tenderness or love or devotion or faith as deep as the ones he felt for you. He probably wasn’t skilled or trained enough.

“I know we’re young. I know this is more of a bet than an actual marriage. I’ve seen people who have been together for years part ways so easily and I don’t even know why you said yes to me. Sometimes I doubt I’m deserving and I see in how many ways I’m lacking and I ask myself, 'why the hell did she say yes to me?' ” He snickered sarcastically. “I wouldn’t have said yes to myself.”

You shook your head and kissed his brow.

“But I’ve been with other people and you have too and… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like this will take a lot of effort but then I hear you laugh, I hear you calling my name and I know, I can feel that that’s what it is supposed to sound like.”

You smiled at him, fixing your position so he could lay on you without worrying about smashing your body.

“I’m so confused and so grateful for this. It’s like… Suddenly winning the lottery. One minute you’re just a person and next you realise you’re going to be a husband. And you don’t know what’s going to happen to you, how your life is going to change, but with you I’m not scared.” He chuckled. “Well, I am. But you make me braver than my fears. And I know I could lose you any day. I could fuck up, or we could just drift apart or something. But any moment spent with you is bigger. It’s better and brighter.”

By now you were a teary mess, face drenched in tears, his arms around your torso as he held onto you. “My soul has found a home in you and I will cherish it. I’ll take care of that home. I’ll make sure nothing damages it. I’ll help you work on it if you want to change it. I will make more room when our family gets bigger. I will fix it when I can. I’ll stay by your side when I’m not skilled enough to heal you. To fix you.” He sniffled, voice hollow and weak as he spoke through a lump in his throat. “And I’ll leave if you ever ask me to.”

You shook your head and hugged him, letting him sob in your arms. “I hope I never lose you.”

“Don’t be a silly bear,” you comforted him, lulling him, holding him close to your heart. “I’ll be your bride. Your spouse. Your wife.” You kissed his head. “And your home. Your relief. Your dirty, secret affair. Your devoted companion too. Your goddess and your toy. I’ll be your friend. And the mother of your children, when we want to.”

God, if he wanted to… But first, he needed to enjoy having you all to himself for a couple more years. Just to make sure you hadn’t been both bold and immature and absolutely stupid about getting married almost two years after meeting for the first time.

“So I’m not getting unwifed for sneaking a peek at the dress?”

You shook your head. “It looks completely different once worn.”

“Really?” His expression exploded with euphoria.

You smiled. “Really.”

His drunken grin was back. “So I’m gonna sleep on the bed right?”

You acted as if you were even thinking about it. “You’re really drunk.”

“I’m soberer now.”

“And you embarrassed me in front of your friends,” you reminded him with a cocked eyebrow.

“Not my fault my wifey’s so hot,” he said with a slightly more accomplished wink.

“Not your wifey yet,” you reminded him.

He tutted. “Just a matter of days.” He kissed your sweet spot, on the side of your neck. “It’s only a technicality.”

You looked at him suspiciously. “A technicality, you say?”

He nodded and held you tighter.

“This technicality could still leave you at the altar, waiting,” you teased.

“Come on, I want to sleep next to you.” He kissed your cheek. “On our bed.” He kissed you again. “Where we’ll be making so many babies.”

“Stop right there, mister.” You placed a finger against his plush lips before you shook your head no. “No babies for a few years. I want you all mine, hubby.”

He chuckled and pressed his forehead against your chest bone. “Okay, fine, but I just meant hypothetically. You know, for practice.”

“Yeah, I think I could use some practice. I want to be perfect at it.”

He smiled and kissed your nose. If only she knew how perfect she is, he thought, haphazardly sitting up and waiting for you to help him on his feet, the whole discourse sobering him up enough that he managed to sit on the bench in the bathroom as you washed his face and brushed his teeth, as you undressed him and helped him in the shower, undressing and joining him, his body too tired and unstable to initiate anything fancy.

And then you towelled him up, rubbing body lotion on his always-too-dry legs before helping him in his boxers.

And through the process, he understood how it was that you loved him so much anytime he got you ready for bed. He should let you do this more often. Especially when he wasn’t exhausted or drunk, so he could properly enjoy being cuddled and fondled and babied.

What he didn’t expect was for it to feel so comfortable when you slid up against his back on the bed, spooning his ridiculously large body with your smaller one. “Sleep tight, big bear,” you said before kissing his nape. “Eight more sleeps and we’ll be married.”

He smiled. “Goodnight, little fox.” And with that, he caught your hand in his and fell asleep.

[fanfic-cave]

The Reveal Pt. 1

Rating: SFW/PG-13

Word Count: 1.3k

Pairing: Hunter x Fem Jedi!OC

Warnings: Swearing (im too lazy to write the star wars swear words so its our kind of swears), trauma/fear situation, suspense build up, hints to romance

Summary: You've exposed yourself as a Jedi to the Bad Batch, and not intentionally. You're trying to avoid them on the Havoc Marauder, worried that they may be out for your blood, the same way the clones were when they executed the Jedi.

Authors note: I'd recommend reading a few other fics I posted that kinda help lay the ground work for this story/the OC. Ill link them below. This is kinda dramatic, but I had to write it out. Ill post part 2 pretty quickly itll be linked below as well. I have more fluff stuff coming I promiseeee

Migraine

Injured Pt. 1, Pt 2.

Part 2 of The Reveal here

@mangoberry99

The environment on the Havoc Marauder had been tense the whole ride. You had decided to try and avoid everyone as much as possible, and you’ve been on the far side of the ship in the small medical supply closet since the journey began.

Shit.

You had slipped up. You prayed to the force that they didn’t notice, but who were you kidding. Hunter had enhanced sense, Tech was enough of a genius to put two and two together. They saw you make a 40ft jump.

You and the ship were under heavy fire. They were trying to bring the ship closer, but they weren’t making progress quickly enough. You had to jump, or take blaster shots to the face. Now you exposed yourself by making an impossible jump.

Maybe they’ve never seen a Jedi before…

You shook your head. Idiot. Of course they’ve seen Jedi, they were in the Grand Army of the Republic, the same army that had thousands of Jedi as commanders and generals.

You used to be a part of that same army. You fought the war.

And you ran away before it was even over. The battle on Umbara… you shivered from the thought of it. That was your last fight.

That’s when I stopped being a Jedi.

You dispelled the thought, just for another unpleasant one to come. What if they know I am- or was, a Jedi? What if they try to kill me like the other clones did to the Jedi? You squeezed your eyes tight. Their faces flashed through your mind. Memories too- challenging wrecker to a drinking contest, teaching Tech the proper pronunciations in Togruti, spending time with Echo in the cockpit on a night of shared insomnia, cutting Crosshairs toothpick while still in his mouth on a day where he was giving you too much sass, and Hunter.

Hunter. You sucked in a deep breath, a swell of emotions filling in your chest. You always wondered about him. His relationship with you was different from everyone else. You could call the boys your friend, but you weren't sure if friend was the right word for him. You noticed how he would keep his eyes on you, how he kept close to you when things got dangerous. You remembered moments when you tended to each other's wounds, or walked past each other on the ship. The longing glances, lingering touches. You could almost feel the electricity you had felt just from being beside him, for some reason craving to reach out to him. You trusted him, you had vulnerable moments with him.

And now he might try to kill me. And I might kill him.

The galaxy really knew how to be cruel, and it looked like you were being given the cruelest fate it could think of.

The door opened and you saw a small figure slip in. Omega. You sighed. She liked you, maybe too much, now that the shit was about to hit the fan. Or you would run and hide as soon as you could, and never see them again.

“Sera! I was looking for you!” She smiled and turned on the lights. She seemed happy to have found you.

“Hey kid.” You looked down at her, and you couldn’t help smiling. Omega was your first friend after a long time of solitude. She wandered over to your home a lot, which led to your eventual friendship with the bad batch.

“Do you mind if I sit in here with you? Or maybe you can come out with me?”

You felt your stomach sink. You weren’t going to enjoy letting her down.

“Omega… maybe it’s best you go stay near the boys. They’re probably wondering where you are right now.”

“I don’t think so, they know I’m on the ship.” She brushed off your concerns quickly. “Tell me about one of the planets you’ve visited! Or-”

“Omega, Sera, we’re about to land, strap in.” You heard Hunters voice down the hall. You felt knots twist in your stomach. You used the force to sense your lightsaber. Still hidden in your bag, a secret pocket you made to effectively hide it. You didn’t make any movements.

“Sera? You coming?”

You looked to see Omega waiting expectantly, concern showing on her face. “Sera…” an expression you couldn’t quite understand crossed her face as she stared at you. Was it worry? Understanding? “You’re safe here.” She reached out to touch your arm. “I promise, you’re safe.” She squeezed your arm and smiled.

If only you knew.

You won’t kill them. You’ll do whatever you can to disarm, and run. You decided this with confidence now. You couldn’t hurt Omega like that, kill the only family she knows. And if it comes down to it… you’ll take the knife in the back, the blaster shot, the beating, whatever happens.

“Thanks Omega.” You smiled, but it was fake, and you were sure it probably looked wrong. “You head up now. I’ll be fine back here.”

She looked unsure and you nodded your head, urging her on. She exited and you released a breath you held. You closed the door and shut off the light.

You heard footsteps, your name being called, but you stayed hidden. Eventually you felt the ship jolt around a bit, and you could tell you’d just exited hyper space and were flying through the atmosphere. Another couple minutes later, a soft thud confirming that you’d landed. You felt adrenaline start pulsing through your body, your fingertips felt like they were being zapped with electricity.

Here we go.

You slipped your mask on, a memento of the clone wars you fought in. You used to always wear it, that was until you befriended the misfit clones. You felt protected when you wore it though, and you needed as much protection as you could get right now.

You shook your head a few times. Maybe they don’t know. Maybe they don’t know. Maybe they don’t know. You kept repeating it in your head. Almost like a mantra. You grabbed your bag and exited the room.

“Sera! There you are!” Wreckers loud voice boomed down the hall. You flinched a little. He didn’t charge at you. He smiled his big goofy grin, swaggering down the hall. He didn’t look like he was going to pummel you. You waited expectantly. “Here I am…” you forced a laugh.

“Where were you?” Hunter spoke and emerged from behind Wrecker. His eyes tried to meet yours, but you avoided direct contact. You didn’t walk up to approach either of them. You watched Hunter now. He didn’t look like he wanted to hurt you either.

This could be a trick. The clones killed the Jedi by tricking them, it had to be the only way. You stayed on guard. You answered Hunter, “Just around. Felt like being alone.”

“Okay then...” His eyebrows knit together, and his arms folded across his chest. You couldn’t tell if he believed you. Hunter was always difficult to read. The boys knew you coveted alone time, so you thought your excuse was believable. Technically it was partially true.

“Well I’m here, we’re back, and we can get off the ship now, right Tech? Echo?” You hollered down the hall. Hunter had an eyebrow raised, analyzing your behavior. You tried to ignore him.

“Yes, we’re opening the doors now.” You heard Tech reply. Right on queue, the ship's exit ramp opened.

You rushed out quickly, managing to get past Wrecker. You breathed the fresh air in. Almost out of this. Then it’s time to disappear. You still had your old Jedi cruiser hidden. Now it was time to put it to use, hopefully you didn’t get gunned down by an Imperial ship.

“Sera, wait up!” You heard Wrecker barrel down. You held your breath, hairs standing up. “How did you make that jump earlier? It was so far!” His hands made a motion to exaggerate it. “Did something explode??” He said excitedly. You didn’t think about how that logic made no sense. You only stood frozen.

“Explosives couldn’t have done that Wrecker.” Tech chimed in. “And isn’t it obvious?” He was standing at the exit door of the Havoc, looking at his data pad. “Sera is a Jedi.”

[thebigqueer]

I'm spamming your inbox but Cellis first kiss??

ooooooh very cute very cute!!

thank you for the prompt, and i hope you like this! and, as always: i do little to no editing on these, so they won’t be my best work. please don’t be too judgmental as you look at these lkajsdfjf

oh my god as i was writing this i got such sudden feelings for cellis i think im 100% on the cellis bandwagon now oh my GOD

There’s a quiet hum in Cecil’s blood as he rushes towards the beach. Darkness sweeps over the camp, night consuming the demigods. It’s almost curfew time and Cecil knows he shouldn’t be going to the campfire right now.

But Ellis is waiting for him. He needs to be there. 

Will and Lou Ellen are waiting for him by the campfire, but they can wait for a little bit. They don’t know where he’s going, but Cecil knows they’ll be making their guesses. No doubt they’re going to tease him about whatever happens at the beach when he returns to them. 

Brown leaves crackle under his bare feet as he runs towards the beach. A soft breeze caresses his skin. Moonlight spills over the trees. He feels electric tonight, waiting for some kind of ignition to spark his fire. 

Within the matter of moments, the beach comes into his view. Dark water sparkles under the stars, flowing in a mesmerizing manner. The crunchy leaves give way to soft sand under his toes, and the smell of the salty breeze infiltrates his nose. Cecil’s heart thuds, thuds, thuds with the promise of seeing his new boyfriend.

And there he stands, his body facing the ocean, looking out to the distance, awaiting Cecil’s arrival. Ellis’ skin glows under the moonlight. 

He looks like an ethereal being, a god. He looks like he could rule the world. 

And Cecil wants to rule the world with him.

The son of Hermes opens his mouth and speaks his boyfriend’s name, savoring the feel of the letters. He pushes faster, almost running now, sand flitting across his feet as he makes his way to Ellis. 

The son of Ares turns, eyes mimicking the glow of the moonlight. A smile blooms over his lips as Cecil approaches, a look of pure kindness balancing gently across his features.

Cecil’s chest heaves as he catches his breath, suddenly feeling the exhaustion catch up with him. Ellis stands before him, still smiling, a softness consuming him. He looks as though he wants nothing more than to simply stare at Cecil, watch him exist.

A warmth envelops Cecil. He’s fallen for tons of people before, but never has he felt such euphoria just by standing in front of Ellis. He feels almost high, giddy, excitement humming in his blood. 

Ellis takes his hand, his warmth seeping into Cecil’s. A blush spreads through the son of Hermes’ face. “Hey,” he says simply.

Cecil laughs, though he’s not quite sure why he does. Maybe it’s the manic excitement in him; he feels as though nothing could make him sad again. “Hi,” he responds shyly. 

Their fingers mingle together, competing for some kind of dominance. “So,” Ellis murmurs, “you look cute.”

Cecil blanks for a moment. Then he laughs. “Is that why you invited me here? To call me cute?”

“Perhaps,” says Ellis. “Maybe I wanted to bring you here just to tell you that I like your hair.”

“You could have said that to me at any point in the day.” Cecil gently smacks Ellis’ shoulder, causing Ellis to yelp in pain. “You made me think we were doing something cute and couple-y. We’re missing the campfire for this!” 

Ellis rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, what’s one night going to do?”

Cecil opens his mouth to argue, but he can’t quite say anything else. He has a point. Instead, he opts to swing their hands together, feel the weight of the other’s hand in his. “So what are we doing here?”

“I feel like we haven’t actually been alone in a while,” Ellis complains, an irritated look coming across his eyes. His fingers pull Cecil’s closer to his chest, placing them right over his heart. Cecil’s face heats as he feels Ellis’ chest under his fingers. He can practically feel the heart beating in there. A heart beating for him. 

“Well, I mean, we’ve only been dating for a week,” Cecil says. “Not much time to truly be alone.” 

Ellis rolls his eyes. “Ever the romantic, Cecil. I’m trying to be sweet and loving and you’re here being a smartass. But what else is new?”

A laugh bubbles out of Cecil’s chest and he leans closer to Ellis, his other hand reaching for the son of Ares’ elbow. “Okay, dumbass. I’m just being honest.” 

Ellis smiles, his teeth flashing in the moonlight, and Cecil’s breath hitches. He’s overcome with some kind of happiness, some kind of excitement by merely being here with Ellis. It’s not that their relationship is necessarily a secret, and they don’t plan on making it one. It’s just the euphoria of knowing that they’re here in their own separate world from the other campers, doing something that no one else knows about. Only they exist right now.

For a moment, Cecil and Ellis just stare at each other. There’s a moment of hesitation; neither boy is sure of what to do next. It’s been a bit of a ride, Cecil thinks, trying to get through these hiccups in their relationship. As much fun as it is dating someone new, there’s still that awkward stage where neither is sure of what moves they’re allowed to make. They’re still getting used to each other, trying one another out like new clothes. They just need to get comfortable.

Then Ellis pulls closer, his arms circling Cecil’s in a tight embrace, and the son of Hermes wraps his own limbs around Ellis’ waist. They bask in each other’s warmth, protecting one another from the cool chill of the night.

Then Ellis pulls away, just a little, and gazes at Cecil. His dark eyes bore into Cecil’s own, searching for something within him. The son of Hermes isn’t sure what he’s looking for, yet he stands a little straighter, hoping Ellis will find it. 

Time stills between them, as if Time itself is scared to do anything. Then it happens: Ellis removes one of his hands from around Cecil and places his fingers over the son of Hermes’ face, his fingertips pressing gently against his skin. Butterflies create a storm in Cecil’s stomach as a wave of anxiety washes over him, and he almost pulls away with the overwhelming sensation. 

Then Ellis leans in, his lips mere inches from Cecil’s, almost as if awaiting permission to go in.

Cecil meets him halfway; their lips crash together. Color explodes in Cecil’s mind, saturating his emotions. He feels like he’s a firework, shooting into the sky and exploding into all kinds of colors, sparkling in the sky. Ellis’ mouth fits against his; it’s almost as if they were made to fit each other’s. 

Cecil doesn’t ever want this moment to end. He wants to stay right here, surrounded by Ellis’ warmth and never leave his arms.

He wants to rule the world with him. 

[commic-jester]

For your prompt spoiler for 129

Okay Cad's Revivy didn't work. Caleb has to use his Transmuter Stone.

why must you hurt me in this way anon /lh

disclaimer!! i don’t know a lot about the transmuter’s stone in terms of critical role so im going strictly off dnd stats!! idk how important it is to the current story!! im sorry if this is a bit ooc!! also kinda channeled my inner matt mercer for this one dksfdjk-

‼️SPOILERS FOR EP 129 HUGE FUCKIN SPOILERS‼️

TW: temporary child death!! please be safe y’all!!!

Last Resort

—

It didn’t work.

It didn’t fucking work.

Caleb watched as Caduceus’s spell faded into nothing, the charred, lifeless body of Luc, a mere child, lying still in Marion’s arms. The red tiefling woman’s face crumpled once more as she covered her mouth with her hand, choking out a sob.

“Caduceus...?” Veth’s voice was small, broken. The adrenaline of the battle had worn off, the mother’s rage at the now dead creature that had killed her son simmering down into small embers instead of a raging flame.

Caduceus himself was horrified. It shook Caleb to his core, to see Caduceus so open with his emotions. The cleric was known to be gentle, supporting, but closed off with his own emotions. Now, though, the firbolg was staring at the lifeless body, his hands beginning to glow with another _Revivify, _until the small hand of Veth reached out to stop him. The cleric was clearly exhausted already.

Caleb looked around frantically. Yeza was broken, sobbing forcefully into his son’s chest. Veth had laid her head on her husband’s shoulders, her shoulders shaking violently but with no noise. Marion was crying as well, gently carding her fingers through the toddler’s hair. Jester was next to Caduceus, who was sat back on his heels, staring blankly at the toddler, tears silently streaming down his face. Jester was whispering small reassurances to the firbolg, who clearly wasn’t having any of it by the way he would gently shake his head.

Caleb shook himself out of it. He had to do something. 

He rummaged through his bag, desperately digging for something, anything—

The transmuter’s stone.

He knew it would shatter after this use, given that it even worked at all. It was a gamble, but as far as he knew it was the only chance they had at the moment. Losing the stone was better than losing Luc.

He shoved his way past Caduceus, who looked up, slightly confused.

Placing the stone on Luc’s chest, Caleb muttered a few arcane words and watched as the stone pulsed with a faint glow.

A beat of silence. Two. Panic began bubbling inside Caleb’s chest. He didn’t necessarily worship any gods, that was more Jester and Caduceus’s areas, but he could have sworn he began subconsciously muttering a quiet prayer.

One more beat of silence, and the stone suddenly exploded in a blinding flash of orange and gold, a shattering sound ringing through the chamber as fragments of the small ringed stone went flying across the molten cavern. 

Everyone in the cavern released a collective breath as Luc drew in a gasping one, coughing violently. Veth and Yeza both dashed forward, wrapping their son in a near crushing hug. 

Caleb fell back onto his heels, not unlike Caduceus. Caleb buried his head in his hands, reminding himself that he had no right to cry. If he had just been stronger, more cautious. If he hadn’t gone fucking unconscious. If he had just dealt with the elementals sooner--

A large hand came to rest on his shoulder, and Caleb looked up to see an exhausted, but gently smiling Caduceus.

“You did good.”

“I did what I had to.”

Caduceus frowned. “Caleb, don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for this.”

Caleb sighed. “I was weak. If I just killed that fucking elemental sooner. If I hadn’t dragged every one of you into this mess in the first fucking place, he’s a child!”

Caduceus placed both hands on Caleb’s shoulder this time. “Hey, hey. None of this is anyone’s fault, ok?” he said, then chuckled slightly. “Caleb, you, quite literally, can’t fight fire with fire. As for ‘dragging’ all of us into this, I think you should know by now that we would all follow each other to the ninth circle of Hell if it meant one of us was safe. After all the shit we’ve been through? I don’t think anything you could have said would have convinced us otherwise.”

Caleb sighed. “I could have done more.”

Caduceus shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll never know, though, will we? What’s important is that the elementals are dead, Luc is safe, and no one is terribly hurt.” 

Caleb didn’t respond, instead standing up and focusing on setting up the magical dome that would keep them safe, at least for a bit. When they were all rested up, they would get the hell out of here as soon as they could with Jester’s magic.

When Caleb finally got the dome up, he sat inside, looking over as Jester massaged Caduceus’s likely tense shoulders. He smiled gently as the large firbolg practically fell asleep.

He jumped slightly as a tiny hand came to rest on his knee, and he looked down to see little Luc looking up at him with large, innocent eyes that nearly broke Caleb’s heart. 

“You have really cool magic, Uncle Caleb,” The small child said quietly as to not wake any of the people sleeping. Caleb gave sad, small chuckle. He didn’t deserve that nickname. 

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?” Caleb replied quietly, deciding to indulge him. He snapped once, Frumpkin appearing on Luc’s shoulder. The child laughed and pet the cat as it curled around his shoulders, purring. Caleb looked up to see Yeza and Veth clutching onto each other, smiling sadly at their son playing with the cat. Caleb saw Yeza look up at him, tear stains visible on the halfling man’s face. The man looked at him with a gratitude so strong Caleb almost had to look away. After a few beats Caleb saw Yeza mouth the words “thank you”.

Caleb looked away, not responding. He held back a sniffle of his own, and instead lied down in his own cot away from the rest of the group.

Caleb knew he’d carry that guilt with him for a long time, but for now, Caleb decided he would rest in the small comfort that Luc was safe, none of his friends were hurt (that he knew of -- he had no idea about Fjord, Beau, and Yasha), and the families would be hopefully safe at the Evening Nip in the coming days. With that, he rested, not peacefully, but rested nonetheless. The Mighty Nein had survived possibly their worst challenge yet, and it wasn’t in the form of a dragon or beholder. 

Gods provide they survived the next.

--

reblogs > likes!!

[silkylious]

Funny Way of Saying I Love You (Dabi x Reader)

Pairing: Dabi x Reader Warnings: angst(i have an addiction i swear), fluff Prompts: #9 “That’s a funny way of saying ‘I love you’” and  #16 “When have I ever let you down, babe? Okay, don’t answer that”

A/N: Thank you for the request! im taking my time writing these since im physically incapable of writing drabbles. I hope you like this!!

Shutting the door behind you, a soothing dusk breeze fluttered your hair as you moved farther away from your daily hell. Your boss had made it a point to be a pain in the ass today, well, more so than usual. Working overtime on a Friday evening wasn’t what you’d hoped to be doing but you couldn’t exactly complain, it wasn’t like you had anything planned and the promise of an extra paycheck didn’t sound displeasing. Rubbing your temples to ease the headache (courtesy of your boss’s incessant bitching), you walked on autopilot to your apartment, you couldn’t wait to treat yourself to a bubble bath and maybe even some wine. Little did you know that your plans would be thoroughly ruined by a certain scarred villain.

You made the decision to pass by a nearby convenient store that wasn’t too far from your residence to cop some snacks. Filtering through the brands of alcohol, you grimaced at the overpriced tags of the various red wine brands, you settled for some cheap liquor with a sigh. It ain’t much but it should do the trick. After paying for what little stuff you’d fetched, you continued on your trek to your humble flat. The sun had completely vanished from the sky, a lingering crimson bleeding into a rich indigo. Your thoughts were so spellbound by the beautiful sight, that you just barely heard a strained grunt from your left. Blinking back into reality, you halted in your steps right next to a comically shady alleyway. Just like in those horror movies. You snorted at the thought, briefly comparing yourself to that one character who always dies first in movies. Though your internal jesting was cut short when the same sound propagated through the alleyway again, this time much more haggard, closely followed by violent coughing. Against your better judgment, you treaded forward cautiously. Why were you doing this? You weren’t sure. Maybe it was the unfulfilled dream loitering in the back of your mind resurfacing after many years of suppression, but you couldn’t not help someone out in a time of need.

The deeper you ventured into the alleyway, the louder your rationality shouted, begging you to turn around and book it to your apartment complex. You were stopped in your steps when an aggressive cough broke the quiet, the sound now impossibly closer and blood splattered all over the ground before your feet. Your eyes followed the vermilion trail, skinny legs covered in bloodied up, skin-tight jeans came into view, you were met with familiar scarred features. His eyes were struggling to stay open, though at the sight of you he forced his lids apart, flashing you a bloody, half-pained smirk, red liquid running down his scarred tissue.

You blinked. Dabi blinked. You blinked again and then-

“What the shit, Dabi! Are you okay?!”

You dropped to your knees next to his limp body propped up against the shaggy wall. He gave a humorless chuckle, more blood oozing out of the corners of his lips. Dabi hummed when your hands touched his fucked up face, your quirk already pacifying most of his pain. It wasn’t a healing quirk, you were simply able to transfer emotions, feelings and sensations (to and fro) with skin on skin contact. You didn’t want him knocking the fuck out from sheer pain (heaven knows there is no way you were going to lug this human heater home), so you had to ease him a little before tending to his injuries. Your body twitched as the hurt from Dabi’s body merged into your own.

“I’ve seen better days, sweetheart,”

“You don’t say.” The words came out harsh, reprimanding. Dabi winced, from the pain or from your tone, he wasn’t sure.

The plastic bag that had been temporarily abandoned came in handy, you sorrowfully used the liquor to clean the large gashes on his abdomen (not wanting to risk an infection on the way to your complex), wrapping them up securely with scraps of his shirt. So much for a relaxing bath and liquor. You heaved him up on semi-steady knees and took a different, more desolate route back home. The last thing you’d want right now is for authorities to see you walking an injured Dabi, one of the most wanted villains in the current climate, home. He leaned most of his weight on your shoulder, his shit-eating grin told you he was doing it on purpose. You couldn’t find it in you to retaliate as you usually would, too worried to come up with any snarky comments.

This had become way too much of a ritual for your comfort. You’d find him bleeding by your doorstep at ungodly hours, silently asking for shelter. Each and every time, you’d patch him up, provide him with food and your company. You’d grown attached to the scar faced male, and even if you disdained his line of work, you’d respected his life and independence (as independent as someone who crashes on your couch near daily can be). For the past couple months, his tasks had been getting progressively more and more dangerous. Your heart couldn’t help but clench each time you saw him beaten and bruised. You knew it was risky letting these feelings develop, Dabi had made it quite clear that your relationship was nothing beyond physical, with a level of mutual respect and trust.

But this was the worst condition you’d ever seen him in after one of his missions. Not too dissimilar to the first time you met; bloody, bruised and half-conscious, truly a sight to pity. You’d noiselessly knelt down, pressed your hand onto his cheek, he hadn’t even been able to flinch at your touch, too disoriented to react properly. Though in mere moments, he began feeling the pain ebb away; the injuries were still there, he just couldn’t feel them, he equated the numbing sensation to painkillers and drugs. His eyelids parted, revealing gorgeous teal irises. Full of ethereal beauty, despite being unfocused. You had to actively shun your quirk from relaying your attraction to him as you soothed his pain, his staples and marred skin a stark contrast to your soft fingers. That night you gave him a place to stay while he was on the run, you didn’t know why, but you did. Just this one time you’d said. One time became two times. Two times became countless and the rest is history.

The apartment door was slammed open, you were beyond irate. The more you thought about him, his situation, your situation, the more you felt the urge to knock shit over and scream bloody murder. Turquoise hues followed you with contempt – and mild amusement ­– but mostly contempt. Dabi took his usual spot on your worn-out couch, while you stomped your way into the bathroom to get a first aid kit. With your absence, Dabi was left to his own thoughts running amuck. Dabi wasn’t oblivious. He knew what your silence meant, knew what the look of unbridled worry in your eyes implied. Yet he didn’t want to address the less than subtle growing feelings you have for him. Attachment in his line of work was a surefire way to get hurt, he figured that if he kept whatever relationship you guys had physical, he wouldn’t have any issues to fuss over. But he couldn’t lie to himself, Dabi was conscious of the budding adoration in his heart from the moment you helped him out that first time, in that filthy alley. God, he needed a cigarette.

Much to his pleasure, you came back before his mind could implode in on itself. You sat beside him on the couch, leaving more space between you than usual. Without saying a word, your hands undid his makeshift bandages, slowly but surely patching him up an inch at a time. It honestly felt like a routine at this point. That prompted a sour taste in your mouth, you couldn’t stand how careless he’d been recently, and it was eating you up inside. But you didn’t dare voice your concerns, not wanting another aimless argument with him. If silence would save you another headache inducing fight, then silence it was–

“So, you gonna tell me what crawled up your ass?”

Or not.

“Shut. Up.” You weren’t in the mood for his quips today. Fatigue from work, babysitting a villain and dealing with unrequited feelings severely fouling your otherwise warm attitude. You were just on the brink of throwing caution to the wind and letting loose all the muffled feelings you have for him. One more comment and your composure would shatter. Conveniently – or not so conveniently, he seemed to be in a talkative mood tonight.

“Seriously, what’s up with you?” The question was redundant, he knew exactly what was up with you, but he couldn’t think of anything else. Your quietness was killing him. He had to say something. He should have chosen his words a little more wisely though.

“What’s up with me?! Are you being fucking serious right now?! I come home and almost every day find you bleeding on my doorstep. Almost every day I give your reckless ass a place to stay, only for you to go and get yourself hurt again!” Pent up rage exploded from within you, an amalgamation of emotions gushing out of your pores. His eyes blew wide, not only because he had never seen you this angry, but because of the surge of emotions flooding him. In your fury filled stupor, you’d let go of the tight rein you had on your quirk. With a hand still touching his bruised forearm, you began unintentionally bleeding your feelings into him. Rage, sorrow and worry were just a few of the many emotions that rocked his being. But one stood out among the rest, outshining the others with blinding ferocity. And it honestly scared him, how powerful it was, zapping through his body. He figured you had feelings for him, that much was obvious, but he didn’t think they were that strong. Your breathtaking emotions awakened something in him too, pulling it out of the depths of where he tried to hide it, push it down in hopes of abolishing it.

It was too much to handle this, he kept coming back for help when he could easily seek any of his colleagues out, the implication that you meant something to him was so elating yet so damaging. It kept you stuck in place, barred from shutting him out or walking away. You couldn’t keep hanging onto the hope that he might reciprocate your love. It was harming you, no matter how sensuous he was in bed, no matter how gently he held onto you afterwards, he would never call you his lover. He made that crystal fucking clear. You had to put a stop to this. You leveled your shaky voice as much as your vocal cords would allow, barely whispering.

“Get the hell out, Dabi. I don’t wanna see you here again.”

The emotions sifting through him mellowed out, no longer was rage at the forefront. Pain, hurt and heartbreak ravaged him. But that one emotion was still there, despite him being a gaping asshole, it was still present. He smirked.

“That’s a funny way of saying ‘I love you,’ doll.”

“Wha–“ Before you could question his response, he swiftly captured your lips in his own to shut you up. It was a quick, firm peck, but its aftermath amused him greatly. The look of bewilderment on your face was damn priceless. You were, again, transferring your feelings to him. Adoration, confusion, the overwhelming urge to pimp smack him; it was all too entertaining for him. His vibrant teals settled upon your hand still gripping his arm. No fabric to separate them. Your own eyes followed suit. Oh. You immediately stopped your quirk, redacting your palm in the process for good measure. Dabi delighted in the bashful look that overtook your face, his own growing soft. He had trouble accepting his own feelings, but after experiencing yours, he would, at the very least, try for you. Awkward silence ensued. You both knew it was his turn to talk, to finally let out the unsaid words you’d been longing for.

“(name), I… I wanna do this right, take you out on dates and shit,” He cleared his throat. “If you’d let me.”

Your answer came in the form of a crushing hug. Your love was pouring into him again, this time of your own accord. You held onto each other, his hands biting into your skin, your own carding through his dark locks. You didn’t need words. Figuratively and literally. He felt everything in bright, flashing colors, he never wanted this moment to end. But it did. His phone rang.

Clear annoyance shined in both of your eyes. With a heavy sigh, he left your embrace, getting up to answer the call.

Another mission.

With the very recent revelations both of you had come to, the idea of him going on missions carried a lot more weight than it used to. Now in front of your apartment door, he put on his shoes, ready to head out to the League’s hideout. Dabi turned around, breath hitching when he saw you standing there frowning, eyes tearful. For some reason, you had a gut feeling this mission wouldn’t be so easy. You didn’t want him to go. And it was showing.

“C’mon, baby doll. Don’t give me that look. I’ll be back, I promise,” When you didn’t even crack a smile at the nickname he sighed. “When have I ever let you down, babe?” He quickly backtracked. “Okay, don’t answer that,”

You managed a small giggle, shaking your head. You approached him slowly, silently wrapping your arms around him. You relished in his quickening heartbeat. Pulling back, you placed your hands on his clothed shoulders. You edged forward, puckering your lips against his own, the point of contact allowing you to relay your inner turmoil to him. Your hands itched towards his face, fiddling gingerly with the multiple staples aligning his cheeks. “Come back, okay? I love you.”

Breath caught in his throat, Dabi tried to push the words setting him aflame through his lips, but he couldn’t. This was happening too fast; it was giving him whiplash. He didn’t know how to say those words yet, so he opted for calling out to you.

“(name)…”

Without even using your power, the conflict in his eyes told you everything you needed to know. you pushed your forehead to rest against his. His love burned through you, so intense, so like him. With a tiny tug at your lips, you lulled the raging storm in his mind. “Shh, Dabi. I know.”

With a parting peck, he was out the door. He didn’t know what was to come out of this mission, but he did know that he now had one more reason to come out alive.

[memorymistress]

{jeon yeo-bin, 28, cis woman, she/her} || min-ji nam is a mutant with the ability of memory manipulation they’ve been in new york for two years where they spend most of their time as mortician. when i think of them, i think of the name of a childhood friend you can’t quite remember, ink bleeding through a page, hands that don’t warm up, a long black coat with two buttons missing.

nam min-ji was the first child and only daughter to two loving parents.  she’s born in a small fishing town in korea. she’d remain an only child for four years, until her brother was born. her first seven years were unremarkable, then her parents pack everything and move to america for a work opportunity for her dad. she has an eidetic memory, which helped a lot during her schooling. she speaks two languages: korean and english, along with a small bit of french thanks to a required high school class. her life is normal, and she pursues a degree in chemistry with a minor in photography, and the former would lead to her pursuing an associate’s degree in mortuary science. after seven years of college, she’d shadow a local funeral director for a full year before going off on her own. her work has taken her all sorts of cities, even back to korea for a short stint. now, she’s back home in new york, running her own funeral parlor for the past two years. 

those are the facts. that’s her life story. 

it’s all wrong. 

nam min-ji was the first and only daughter to two loving parents. she’s born in a small fishing town in korea. she’d remain an only child for four years, until her brother was born. when she was five, she started a game that would entertain her friends and other neighborhood kids. if she touched their hand, she could tell them what they had for breakfast, what their mother had told them earlier in the day word for word, or what they’d gotten for their last birthday. the kids were amazed at min-ji’s ability, and begged for her to teach them. she’d just smile. by six, kids would come up to her in school for help remembering where their house was, what the teacher had said an hour beforehand, or other things their little minds couldn’t quite recall. but min-ji always could. 

the fun and games ended when her teacher noticed how children flitted to and from her desk. she wanted to know what was going on, as the disruptions were becoming a nuisance. min-ji, a little kid and proud of what she could do, wanted to show off to the adult. she grabbed her hand. images filled her head of a man yelling, and she could hear her teacher yelling back, something about money and cheating. min-ji frowned at her teacher, and repeated the exact words the man had used at her. the adult flinched and looked at her in horror. 

it was the beginning of the end. 

she’s sent to the headmaster’s office. neither them or the teacher could decide what was there to do about her. was she spying on the teacher? had her parent’s heard and told her? any rational conclusion couldn’t fit as how had the girl been able to say exactly what the teacher’s husband had? at the mention of touch causing it, they came to one solution: min-ji could no longer have skin to skin contact at school. she was to come everyday in gloves.

little min-ji became a pariah in a matter of days. there were whispers of what caused her new daily accessory, why the teacher wouldn’t even look in her direction anymore, if her ability to look in the past was actually a curse. her parents took her to different doctors, all of which had no clue what caused min-ji’s abilities. 

a year after her incident at school, a group of kids a grade older than her cornered min-ji in alley. they grabbed her hand and yanked a glove off. 

“show us your magic trick, freak.” 

min-ji, in tears and scared as the other kids pushed and smacked her head, discovered a new skill she had. as her hand was placed in one of bully’s, she saw a blur of memories and shut her eyes tight. she wanted it all to stop. stop. stop. STOP. and then it did. she was back in her own mind, and a sense of calmness washed over her. the other kid wasn’t so lucky. he dropped her hand and looked around. 

“where am i?” their group’s eyes widened. “who are you?” he questioned. unable to understand what was going on, the children screeched, one pulling on their now confused friend away from her. 

“get away from her! get away!” they yelled to each other. 

word was spread around. the boys’ parents are furious, claimed min-ji cursed their son. the entire town was aware of min-ji’s...quirk now, and they were furious. nothing her parents said could soothe the angry mob. a sympathetic doctor had contacted them, and let them know of a school that taught children like her in new york. her parents had no other choice, as they were just as worried about their daughter as much as their neighbors were scared of her. 

within the next few months, her family were moved to a two bedroom apartment in new york. in another week, min-ji was enrolled in the xavier institute. the harassment from their town, move, and overall culture shock of a new place had shaken min-ji. she didn’t understand what made her so different, made her so hated. 

slowly, she became to understand it. as she met the other kids, she could see their various talents and how hers weren’t just an everyday oddity. for awhile, things improved. she still wore her gloves, but with one on one teacher instructions, she learned to control and sharpen her abilities. there were still bumps and dives in the road, but nothing too bad. 

then, she took off her gloves one day. she’d met someone she’d wanted to hold hands with, to touch without fabric as a barrier. it was a mistake. she wasn’t ready. 

her excitement caused her to push her own memories onto her current crush, so much so they felt like they were experiencing it. for the first time in more than half a decade, she saw the emotion she saw in those kids’ eyes in the alley. fear. 

the other students started to avoid her. they’d flinch if she even brushed past. they were all different, but now people realized fully what min-ji could, the extent of it. how do you know if your memories are your own? is she messing with us right now? i feel like i’m forgetting everytime i’m in a room with her. min-ji realized even mutants couldn’t resist acting on their panic. 

still, there were a couple of people who stayed by her side, were friends with her. it didn’t ease the sting of people being scared of her entirely, but it helped her cope. as soon as she graduated, she was out of there. professor xavier had been kind enough to pay for her schooling to a university. she flourished there as no one knew she was any different. her parents were proud, happy that she’d grown up to be the woman she was. they found her choice of career a bit funny, but were glad she knew what she wanted to do. 

it’s during her year shadowing a funeral director things are thrown awry. the president confirms the existence of mutants. people will find out. they always want to know why she wore the gloves. 

with mutants coming out of the shadows, she panicked even moreso. she left the city, wanting as much distance between her and the school as possible. then, she couldn’t run anymore. she was in charge of someone who turned out to be a mutant, as well as their friends who attended the service. one had the ability to see other people’s mutation. he pulled her aside, began peppering her with questions. her repeated denial was met with an invitation. they had a group of mutants, people to test their powers with. if you don’t let it out once in awhile, you’ll explode. that conversation kept her up for weeks, until she finally gave in. it was uncomfortable at first, as she was resistant to revealing her abilities. when she did, it wasn’t fright that met her. it was amazement. 

she’s thriving again, but this time as herself. her true self. everything was going well, she was happier than ever. her powers weren’t a curse. they could make people happy, make her happy, like they had as a child.  

but she started to use it too much. she overexerted herself. she began having ideas, ways to speed up mutant acceptance. as she discovered she didn’t even need to touch people to look into their memories, to change it. why couldn’t i just meet the president, rewrite his history so he comes up with stronger mandates for mutant protection? some were for it, most were wary. you’re going off the deep end. take a step back. she didn’t care, she had a gift and wanted to use it. the amount of bodies coming into the parlor that were mutants had skyrocketed over the years. something had to be done.

the group agreed, just not with her. a plan was made with the other telepath among them as the main player. with their abilities, as min-ji slept one night, they put a stop to min-ji’s fantastical plans by erasing her knowledge she was a mutant at all. it took some time, to fill such a large part of her life enough that she wouldn’t be suspicious. 

it worked. min-ji started over without knowing it, and has been living that way for the past eight months. she wore gloves because her hands were always cold. i was born to be a mortician, huh? she’d joke to people once she told them her line of work. it’s normal. she’s normal. nothing could change that. right? 

okay so hi! i would love to plot with everyone and write with everyone! i’m izzy aka bells (i answer to either!) my discord is gaytendo#6961 or you can im me on here!! i can’t wait to write and talk with all of you!!

[mental-health-advice]

MASSIVE CW ABOUT SU*CIDE

I have a friend of 6 years. I love her dearly to pieces. she helped me through my high school depression saved me from committing suicide. because of covid i came back to my childhood town, and i was going to leave back to my city in may but something happened. recently she came to me saying she was suicidal. this broke my heart but i began to try my best to help, i called her everyday, tried to make her laugh, made her food, made sure she was drinking water, i hung out with her a few times & i began to see the light in her eyes a little bit. every time we hung out i would go home & cry because i have a deep rooted fear of death related to my ptsd so i was freaking out in the inside i was trying to be strong for her. trying to be her light but behind closed doors i was broken because these aren’t things i could magically fix for her. a week later we plan a picnic on a very emotional anniversary of mine to help me cope but it was a way of me making sure she ate too. point being is that i was already emotional the day, i know in no way was this an excuse but she started talking about how she felt. i panicked i had a full blown panic attack thinking about her dead. she asked me what was wrong & i blew up. i was holding her hand begging her to fight this, begging her to get therapy (she said she doesn’t like that it’s in person i said it doesn’t matter she needs to try) it all came out of my mouth, i regretted it as soon as it came out. i said that if she doesn’t want to fight for herself she could fight for me. i would miss her too much, i’m fighting for her. if she were to i will never forgive her. i told her if she was a ghost she would see how much it would affect me and the many people who love her so dearly . i told her the day she dies i die too a part of me does, i said weren’t you the one who said you’d tell me that i’m beautiful to the day we die & that’s not any time soon? i said i didnt mind taking care of her i would do anything to help and i’m trying my best to help but i can’t pretend i’m okay. i held her hand so tightly and said i was trying to push strength into her. i told her she needed to tell me when she got to that low point because i would come running to her door, i told her i don’t care i’ll listen to everything thats on her mind. i begged her to tell me what she wanted and she said everything i’m doing was more than enough. she proceeds to tell me im the only one who knows. i hugged her and kissed her and left home. she tells me everything i give her aka love and attention is everything she doesn’t want she just wants to be alone. i profusely apologized about my breakdown and said i was being selfish and dismissive and self centered. i just thought maybe if she knew my side she’d want to fight extra hard or something? my friend said that it’s things people need to hear that they’re not alone. so i haven’t talked to her in a month. in the past month i have experienced the worst pain of my life so far i have gone to hell and i have not came back. i’m so angry at myself, my body is a wreck i haven’t taken my meds as a self punishment ive lost 7 pounds because i haven’t ate becaus i throw everything up. i’m so guilty and i feel so selfish even though 7 people (including one who lost a brother to suicide) agree with me that i didnt do anything inherently awful. i don’t know why she expected me to be cool with this. to fold my hands and be like sure how ahead of course not! her and i have always been so involved in each other’s problems so it was expected i wouldn’t take it so easy that’s how ive always been so hand on with helping and providing support. i feel like in that moment i know i wasnt providing support. i had one job one job only to listen and even then i fucked up. i know it sounds like i managed go turn a situation to be about me i’m angry too. been a month ,i messaged her apologizing begging her to say something anything i’ll do anything to make it up to her i promised i would never flip out again. nothing. am i fucked? what should i do next? what woukd you do in my situation. thank you sm

Hey there Rose,

It sounds like you did everything you could for your friend from the very beginning. You went out of your way to help support her and continued to do so for as long as you possibly could!

It’s so hard when we are helping to support a friend through suicidal thoughts/ impulses, it can be so very draining on us and even if we are in a good headspace ourselves at the time. It must also have been triggering for you at times with your past struggles with suicide. I know that you probably felt like you had to really help support your friend as she had for you throughout high school but it’s so important to remember that we as friends can only do so much and even though she was there for you in your time of need, you don’t owe her anything. I know that this may seem harsh but it’s the truth. She was there for you as she was in a place in her life where she felt like she could help to support you. With this being said though, because you are supporting your friend it’s so important that you look after yourself too, that you don’t let her life and struggles with suicide consume you and become the center of your world. I know how easy it is to let this happen too, I’ve done it myself, and hence why I know how important self-care is.

I know that you are upset with yourself for ‘blowing up’ at your friend when you had that picnic with her but it sounds like things just got too much for you and that things were building up inside of you until you exploded, like a volcano. Please don’t beat yourself up over this, you did your very best to hold on for as long as you did and I’m sure your friend was really appreciative of you for that. Going home and feeling so upset and worried for her though is not helpful or healthy at all for you. You need to have other enjoyments in life, other things that you can focus on other than your friend if that makes sense? And I think that this is partly why you reacted as you did when you were at that picnic with your friend, you just couldn’t handle things anymore which is quite understandable I think given how much stress and pressure you were under at the time.

Given everything that happened, I do not think you have messed up at all and that you should give yourself a bit of a break! We are only human after all and like all humans we can only deal with and cope with so much until it all becomes overwhelming and explodes up in our face. Does that makes sense? And I know, I know how much easier it is to say this when you’re on the outside looking in, but please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a loving, caring, beautiful person and yes, it hurts that you haven’t heard from your friend for such a long period of time, but maybe this is just what she needs right now?

For example, maybe it’s given her the push she needed to get some professional help and start therapy? Maybe it’s taught her to stand a bit more on her own two feet or helped her to realise that in life it isn’t healthy to just depend on one person when you are struggling so much and so it’s best to surround yourself with a group of people so they can all help you together, share helpful ideas, support one another, things like that. There’s also the possibility that she feels really bad and guilty for all she has put you through and she feels like she needs to give you a break and some time off from the stress and all the pressure that was thrust upon you.

I do not think it is fair on you that she has cut contact and hasn’t replied to you at all but it’s important to know that this is her issue not yours. You have not done anything wrong and only did the very best you could have done given the situation, but please know that you can only help someone so much and sometimes it’s up to the other person (your friend) to let you in and to help themselves a bit too.

So given your situation that you are currently in, I don’t think that there is much you can do right now. I know how hard it is to just sit in limbo with everything but what else can you do until your friend decides on what she needs and contacts you when she’s ready to. So maybe in the meantime be extra kind to yourself, look after you, do some things that you love and enjoy doing and more importantly reach out to people yourself when/ if you feel the need to!

I really do hope that this has helped a bit and please do keep us updated if you want and let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you’re going well!

Take care,

Lauren